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Posted in music on September 20, 2005
Towers of London @ Bar 13 | Neuman's Review
Towers of London
Bar 13 - 9/18/05
By Mike Neuman
Deciding on what angle to write this review from was a difficult choice. The 13 year old girl in me wants to scream "OMG! TOWERS OF LONDON FREAKIN' ROCK!!!" But the professional rock journalist in me is asking "What the fuck is this? Is this real?" Because I am neither a 13 year old girl, nor am I a professional rock journalist, (as apparent in my love of beginning sentences with conjunctions) this is probably going to sound more like an excited explorer telling a tale of discovering a new land.
The first time I heard Towers of London was a few weeks ago on MySpace. Immediately I could hear the cynics cry."We've already seen this act before. The Darkness, Spinal Tap, Sex Pistols, etc." Of course, if you've read about Towers of London before, then you've heard these comparisons too. However, there are some subtle differences that make Towers of London stand out from the rest. The first thing is.I don't think this is tounge-in-cheek at all. I think these guys are serious. Where The Darkness is more like "Oh yeah, I get it, they sound like Queen.", Towers of London are closer to "Holy shit, now I know what would happen if Poison fucked the Sex Pistols." But they also add the classic punk anthems of Sham 69, and more nihilism than the Pistols ever had. I mean at least the Sex Pistols had some political leanings. Towers' ethos seems to start and end with "DRINK, FIGHT, FUCK." Although none of the bands they get compared to have ever had lyrics as profound as "Fuck it up!" over and over again.
When Towers of London spat out their first song, I was imagining the ways in which they had prepared for this show. My only possible theory is that they must've been locked in a cage and fed nothing but booze for hours before the show. They were threatening, dangerous, and they take themselves seriously. Lead singer Donny Tourette was wearing a shirt with "NYC SUCKS" spray painted on the front, and "ME OFF" on the back. It was incredibly appropriate that in the 2 hours leading up to the bands performance, The Decline of Western Civilization Part 1 & 2 were on the televisions on the wall. Towers of London could have easily climbed right out of the screen and onto the stage like the little creepy girl in The Ring. Bottles were broken, mic stands were kicked into the crowd, microphones were swung into people's faces, and the band climbed up the walls. I could barely understand a word that was coming out of the band member's disgusting mouths. I don't know if it was because the show was loud enough to fill Radio City Music Hall, or if it was because of the slurred cockney accents. Regardless, the show was thrilling to say the least. I absolutely loved it.
So will Towers of London usher in a new wave of "cock punk"? I hope not, because I can't imagine any other band doing it as seriously and as amazingly well as these guys do it. Plus I don't know how well the hipsters will take to the resurgence of gobbing. The Towers seem destined for self-destruction. See them while you can.
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Posted on September 20, 2005 11:27 AM
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Comments (16)
I liked it the fifth time when it was called The Darkness.
Posted by Bryan | September 20, 2005 4:00 PM
Of course you did.
Posted by Mike Neuman | September 20, 2005 5:49 PM
total fucking garbage.
Posted by fred durst | September 20, 2005 9:14 PM
towers of london fukin rule!!!!!!!
Posted by cal | September 29, 2005 11:45 AM
mortgage http://www.mortgage-911.net
Posted by mortgage | October 1, 2005 3:46 AM
home equity loan http://www.homeequityloan-x.com
Posted by home equity loan | October 1, 2005 10:05 AM
they have a video:
www.mohazima.com
it's the one in the top left corner.
Posted by dirtybird | October 17, 2005 6:25 PM
see the problem is back in the 70s these guys would have become legends but nowadays unfortunately i dont think many people will actually catch onto it. which is a bit of a shame.
Posted by alex | November 9, 2005 2:13 PM
How many shoegazing idiots must we be forced to listen to in the next five years? I am sooooooo sick of all these sensitive indy bands lamenting about their inner delicacies with feigned cleverness/humour aimed at endearing themselves to a bunch of indy jounalists and labels who have passed on and all but ignored countless american punk rock and roll bands in the last ten years. No, the Towers of London aren't doing anything new under the sun, but they fucking rock like mother fuckers, and I would urge the American press to look in their own back yards and start acknowledging the awesome talent they've been turning their indy snobbish noses at for the last ten years.
Posted by Don "Demonboy" Cilurso | December 26, 2005 9:33 AM
You can rock like no motherfucker ever rocked before and still suck.
Posted by shoegazer | December 26, 2005 11:45 AM
you can suck my dick and still not be gay
Posted by alex | June 25, 2006 12:59 PM
suck dick and not be gay please
Posted by gg | August 16, 2006 5:36 PM
omg towers of london rule 4eva n donny ur so fit lol i will always wot u n listen to u lol
Posted by kirsty | January 8, 2007 12:52 PM
u guys rule 4eva
Posted by kirsty | January 8, 2007 12:55 PM
The towers of london fukin rock, i seen them in me home town(Hull, UK) at ringside and there was fukn awesome. This is real music. So all u fag inde puffs, blow me
Posted by dick on the sex pistols | January 22, 2007 12:23 PM
Towers of London aren't a TERRIBLE band, but they're not really that great. They're not real punks, they don't even understand the punk era and they continue to knock bands that have pretty much made them. Oh, and alex, if you can suck dick and not be gay, then suck mine bitch.
Posted by Anonymous | June 26, 2007 5:34 PM