Posted in music on August 28, 2007

This past Saturday August 25th, 2007, a bunch of bands from Ohio played The Hook in the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, and they called it ClevelandFest. Nate from The Apiary (who happens to be from Cleveland) was there.....

Cleveland Fest

"You better watch out with that shirt around these parts, you could get yourself hurt," the big galoot of a doorman at The Hook lazily slurred. You mean here? At ClevelandFest? I am wearing a Cleveland Indians tee (Grady Sizemore). "It's you who better watch out, you dildo," I say internally. For tonight, the spirit of Ohio shimmers like the golden sands of a Lake Erie beach on one of the 40 days a year they're not issued biohazardous swimming advisories. Midwestern ex-pats from across NYC have assembled into this desolate and grey strip of Red Hook to see the first ever ClevelandFest, a rock show celebration/mill-about featuring 15 bands, all from Cleveland, Ohio.

I slink into the bar expecting to see Big Chuck and Lil' John mosh dancing to Mushroomhead while a perky Romona Robinson works the merch booth, pushing hoodies, Terminal Tower trinkets, and Malley's chocolates. Maybe there'd be an area where we can take virtual reality tours of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame? Or get free copies of The Plain Dealer? There wasn't any of that. I was however greeted warmly by two ticket-takers who looked like somebody's mom and dad. These people turned out to be the parents of the dude who organized this thing: Alex Lombardo - an upbeat former Cleveland native and current designer at Rolling Stone. I grabbed a beer, checked to see if Derek Hess was lingering about, then watched Roger Hoover and the Whiskyhounds' boot stomping set before I ventured into the venue's courtyard....

Cleveland Fest

"The Tribe is up 8 to 2," announced a dude, instinctively reacting to my Indians shirt as I stepped outside. Another guy mockingly jeered the words "Grady's Ladies" at me, implying that I am a lady in a fanatical Grady Sizemore cult that is said to have taken hold of Cleveland. I moseyed over to where Red Hook hotspot Schnack was catering the night's festivities, grilling weenies and mini-burgers made to order.

Cleveland Fest

The large assembly of Ohio people chatting and smoking and half-watching the performers suggested that this show was more about reconnecting with old friends rather than discovering the next it-band out of Cleveland. In case you were wondering, the buzz for the evening was with Coffinberry, Roue', and This Moment in Black History.

Cleveland Fest

I spoke with Buddy Akita, lead guitar player of This Moment in Black History. Five years ago he got his hand caught in a dough press machine. Here he is today, a survivor, using his healed hand to play music. Can you imagine? His band spent about $150 in gas and tolls just to get to Brooklyn. By Sunday night, they would be gone, and back on the road that brought so many of us here permanently - I-80.

Cleveland Fest

When I first heard about ClevelandFest, I thought it was way weird for a US city to foist itself upon a bigger US city like this. You wouldn't hold SecaucusFest in Baltimore. Would you? By the time I left the show however, I was bubbly about the potential for next year. There are so many people from Ohio who have settled in Brooklyn - it makes total sense! I want to celebrate a shared heritage with a mob of random and dangerous strangers, just like everyone else. Festivals based on cities or states are the future.

I want to race in a Cavs jersey (old colors) down a Crocodile Mile into the open maw of Dick Goddard--that's what ClevelandFest should be about. Lombardo - if you're listening, and if you plan on bringing Cleveland back to NYC again next year, my only suggestion would be to funnel in some Ohio kitsch and ephemera to go along with all those Ohio bands.

See you at Thanksgiving, Cleveland. Thanks for stopping by.

Cleveland Fest

Read more of Nate's writing at The Apiary.

Comments (25)

Nice job Nate! I went to Cleveland a few years ago when I was on tour with a band and LOVED it. The owner of the club was the former guitar player of Warrant and he had one of Warrant's original drum kits as part of the house back line. The bass drums even said 'Down Boys'. Needless to say I was thrilled to play such a kit

Posted by klaus_kinski | August 28, 2007 11:33 AM

cleveland fest kicked ass. the bartenders sucked ass.

Posted by Anonymous | August 28, 2007 12:22 PM

As a current Clevelander, I have to say that this lineup was a piss poor representation of our music scene. There are a ton of great, creative bands here, but aside from Roue, ClevelandFest looked like a real shit sandwich.

Posted by friend | August 28, 2007 12:33 PM

not true about the bartenders at the hook.

Posted by knows bartenders | August 28, 2007 12:36 PM

was eric from new bomb turks in the house? he lives nearby i think...and he seems to go to anything of this ilk.

Posted by Anonymous | August 28, 2007 12:44 PM

Roger Hoover was amazing! This Moment in Black History ruled and glad I stayed to see them! Roue are insane and the drummer is an animal. American Werewolves and The Pianos were my favorite of the night. The bartender(s) sucked and the bathroom was a plumbing disaster! Next time make it closer to the subway if you can! Great day/night and hope you do it again!

Posted by Johnny Cleveland | August 28, 2007 12:47 PM

Eric D. (New Bomb Turks) here -- Unfortunately I was not in attendance, which sux cuz Nate made it sound pretty fun. It woulda been fun just to toss the name Ghoulardi around and not get "Huh?!" looks. "You know, the guy who did the voice for the Love Boat!" Anyway, I had prior commitments, as they say. But I'll definitely be at the next one.

Posted by Eric | August 28, 2007 12:58 PM

dear knows bartenders,
perhaps you should speak with your friends. when bartending, it is best to not move as if on quaaludes while underwater. you will find that their customers will be much happier, tip more, and probably spend more at the bar if you actually make an attempt to serve them in under 10 minutes. also, bringing another guy on to help out, but only allowing him to open beers but not pour liquor didn't help the situation.

Posted by Anonymous | August 28, 2007 1:22 PM

You're right 1:22. It was like buying beer at Duane Reade in there. Sooooo slow. That being said, the fest was fun as hell.

Posted by Anonymous | August 28, 2007 1:32 PM

CHEESEBURGER!!!!!

Posted by Anonymous | August 28, 2007 2:09 PM

The Whiskeyhounds (never seen them before) absolutely were amazing!!!!! Come back to NYC!

Posted by lewis | August 28, 2007 2:15 PM

Brooklyn Vegan thanks for the great coverage! We raised great $$ for the charities and thanks to all the bands who drove 8 hours each way and their fans who also came with them to support! Biblical Proof of UFO's and IanScreams came all the way from L.A. to help the cause and I can't thank you enough! Please don't give the bartenders slack because I don't think they were informed on how much Clevelanders like their booze! Please support SCHNACK, they're food was great and they came through in the last minute! The Hook is a great venue and appreciate them hosting ClevelandFEST! Lastly, thank you all who came out to support and brave the heat and humidity. See you at ClevelandFEST #2!
xxoo-Alex

Posted by Alex Lombardo | August 28, 2007 2:41 PM

...also The Whiskeyhounds are looking to play here on October 5th and 6th. Can anyone help them find a spot?
Thanks,
Alex

Posted by alex Lombardo | August 28, 2007 2:51 PM

columbus is better!

Posted by boo | August 28, 2007 3:14 PM

Alex you're a genius! Next year i want in. Big hugs and kisses for adding This Moment to the line-up. Wish I was there, ClevelandFest that is.

Posted by deaner | August 28, 2007 4:09 PM

Great times! Used to live in Cleveland and now in NYC- Hometown to neither- it was a Fantasitc showcase! KUDOS to have Fall Back on there- as a newer band from Cleveland it is good to give all bands, old and new a chance- and any chance to see Roue and American Warewolves in the same night is a good time to me! Thanks!!

Posted by JQ | August 28, 2007 4:20 PM

Hey "Friend" who posted at 12:33...why do you have to hate on ClevelandFEST? I couldn't think of a more diverse representation of Cleveland bands, far from what you called "piss poor" and not creative.

There were hardcore, blues, punk, indie, new wave, hard rock, sludgerock, and pop bands who represented the scenes that revolve around Beachland, Grog, Happy Dog, Peabody's, Parish Hall and even going back to Speak in Tongues and the Euclid Tavern. Sounds pretty f-ing "Cleveland" to me....but I could be wrong because I've only been playing those clubs for the past 15 years.

This was an AIDS charity concert, dude, not a show at the Tower, so I am sorry if the lineup offended your sensibilities or aesthetics. Those who were involved were the ones polite enough to have responded to Alex's original call for bands, and not blow him off until the week before the gig only to beg to be included (as more than a few Cleveland bands not in attendance did).

Please name the "ton" of creative bands that were not represented and I guarantee a few of them WERE asked to participate, or even more likely, that those you name will break up two months from now and be irrelevant anyway.

Don't sit back there in Cleveland and f with people who are doing something positive and raising money for charity.

Posted by Matt | August 28, 2007 8:16 PM

We were there. we rocked. everyone rocked. the new yorkers i met were super nice. the bartenders loved me. the schnack dudes were awesome. i felt the love and would do it again in new york minute.
thanks for the press. xxx the heathers

Posted by Gina El Camino | August 29, 2007 5:28 AM

Columbus is better!!!

Posted by Anonymous | August 29, 2007 10:11 AM

oh i'm so sad i missed it! there are a ton of clevelanders in nyc, and when i lived in the city i used to want to open a cleveland bar (kucinich's?? the burning river?) like that detroit bar motor city.
i must applaud any story on bklyn vegan, btw, w/ a ramona robinson reference. there aren't enough.
oh, and no, columbus is not better. please.
and speaking of, i hope everyone saw no reservations w/ anthony bourdain this week. cleveland represent!
and i doubly hope they had stadium mustard at the schnack booth.

Posted by marah | August 29, 2007 10:46 AM

Right the F on, Matt!!! I got super pissed that "friend" posted that pile of shit the other day. What kind of puss doesn't enter in his/her own name, wasn't there, and is a complete douchebag...

I couldn't have said it better, Matt, thanks...

Posted by justin | August 29, 2007 12:51 PM

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! (vomit) Cleveland Fest?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Please Please Please end this shit. Go back home. We hate you. You're ruining one of the greatest places on earth.

Posted by DIEHIPSTER!!! | August 31, 2007 3:50 PM

I am rather familiar with the "behind the scenes" at The Hook...If the owners (the bartender is definitely one as they are losing their shirts by having signed a 10 year lease in the shittiest neighborhood for transportation in all of NYC and need $$ wherever available as they spend 3x the amount to get bands there than any other club in the city...primarily due to not having ANY skills whatsoever in regards to haggling with booking agents - but that is a whole other topic) weren't coked out of their minds they were eating painkillers and smoking herb constantly and treating the club as a "boys club" to escape their wives and do blow all night. The bartender was fond of the pk's, not the Bolivian Marching Powder, hence a bartender who seems as if he is underwater with no decent bar-back. Too bad as it is a great space with bitchin' sound. All they need is a subway and a clue about how to book bands and not spend all of their $ on guarantees and they MIGHT not go into financial ruin for the rest of their lives. Good luck getting folks to Red Hook, boys! And yes, Diehipster....Cleveland most definitely does NOT rock. Those from the midwest should go back there and try their hardest to turn that around. Or whatever....just go away is what I am getting at. Ohio.....PLEASE! As if!

Posted by a transplanted NYer | August 31, 2007 4:48 PM

www.diehipster.com

Posted by Joe Mac | August 31, 2007 5:27 PM

red hook is one of the "greatest places on earth"?

Posted by Anonymous | September 1, 2007 9:54 AM

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