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Posted in music on October 30, 2009

the great Chuck Biscuits death hoax of 2009 (he's alive!)

Chuck Biscuits

I can now say with 99,99% confidence that legendary drummer Chuck Biscuits is in fact alive and well! So what the hell happened yesterday? How did the rumor that he died of throat cancer start? Why did everyone believe it? Well, before the chain reaction of irresponsible blog posts and news stories (guilty), it all began with one James Greene Jr. James, according to the Boston Herald (one of the sources I read before posting myself) (and whose story credits Blabbermouth), is "a freelance music writer from Brooklyn, New York".

Though I didn't completely realize it at the time of my own hasty posting, James's Chuck Biscuits obituary was THE source of it all. Before I re-posted his words I had read about Chuck's death - in addition to at the sources mentioned above, in the BrooklynVegan comments, and was told about it via an IM, and saw that someone had updated Wikipedia with his death info (reliable, I know), and noticed via Google that Punk News had even put a "-2009" after his name and date of birth. The news was spreading fast. By the end of the day, at least 50 websites had reported that Chuck was dead.

At first glance James's blog post seemed super legit too. First of all, who would make something up about Chuck Biscuits? (Lars Ulrich maybe, but Chuck Biscuits????). It was a well thought out obituary which even sourced Chuck's family members (a "mass email" even), and (ironically) the post was tagged "Shit That Can't Be Real Yet Somehow Is"!

continued below...

Before I continue, I want to look at the bright side. I can't remember the last time I thought about Chuck Biscuits, and though sad, yesterday was a nostalgic trip that had me listening to, and reading about, Danzig, D.O.A., Black Flag, Social Distortion, and many of the other related bands that Chuck played in. The Internet was celebrating Chuck Biscuits, and I found myself in interesting Biscuits-related places like the website of Sudden Death Records, the homepage of John Christ, the Twitter account of one "Tim Napalm Stegall", and Otis Link's MySpace.

I feel dumb for being one of those who reported that Chuck died, but I had fun during the process of trying to prove it wrong, and that included learning more about James who really did believe that Chuck was dead. I feel bad for him. He thought he had been in contact with Chuck and his family since May, but now it seems that he was actually just the butt of someone's very cruel practical joke. Most random practical joke ever? Well, not totally.

First look at the topics of some of James's past published work. Here are a few highlights:

You get the idea. James is a big Danzig fan! Danzig drummer Chuck Biscuits is a "hero of [his] musical youth".

Second, as James started to realize that he was duped, he wrote:

"I know plenty of people who severely dislike me and would take any chance they could to play on my gullibility to make me look as stupid as possible (i.e. e-mail me for six months pretending to be a dying drummer I admire)."
So, he's obsessed with Danzig, he's gullible, people hate him, AND...
"I spent a good chunk of '08 searching for Chuck and info on Chuck. All I got was Bill Goddamn Stevenson. No one was talking.

I wrote a thing about Biscuits anyway and then, out the blue, some fucker calling himself by that name who looks like the guy on the record sleeves starts corresponding with me. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Call shenanigans? Whatever happened to trust? Who would lie about being Chuck Biscuits? Especially to a piece of "vermin" like me on the lowest rung of the totem pole?"

(someone called him "vermin" in a previous comment). Okay, so someone that hated him knew he was looking for Biscuits, thought it would be hilarious to play a joke, and finally, months later, decided to end it with a really distasteful bang. And here we are.

jamesgreenejr Says:
October 29, 2009 at 7:55 pm

Has anyone ever lied to you for six months about being a terminally ill hero of your musical youth? It's fucking weird. You think I wasn't devastated when I read the e-mail the other day that announced his "death?" That's why I wrote this blog in the first place. I wanted to give CB the obit I knew he deserved. I knew there'd be source questions, but what was I supposed to do, e-mail his "wife" back and be like, "Hey, can you send me pics of the body?" I had no suspicions. I thought I had this shit on lock down. Who would lie to a NOBODY blogger about this kind of thing for so long?

It's easy to attack me in hindsight, but again - this had been going on since May. Who the fuck lies about being a dying Chuck Biscuits for half a year? Are my friends/enemies smart enough to hack enough related e-mail accounts to perpetrate something like this? I just want to know how it happened.

I'd also like some more conclusive proof that Chuck isn't dead aside from e-mails from people whose existence I can't further verify.

Since he wrote that, it has been confirmed that Chuck is alive (though at the time of this writing, James has not fully recanted his story) (even by him). Straight.com talked to D.O.A.'s Joe Keithley, and I know someone that talked to Keith Morris. Both say Chuck is alive, well, and extremely confused which is consistent with the many other rebuttals that Tim Napalm posted to Facebook (from Joey Shithead, Otis Link, Chuck's brother and others). Amen, and welcome back Chuck.


(I know Chuck isn't in this video)


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Recent Related Entries

Tags: Black Flag, Chuck Biscuits, Danzig, DOA, hoax, Keith Morris

Posted on October 30, 2009 3:28 AM

Comments (33)

So sad. RIP

Posted by CHUCKS-DEAD | October 30, 2009 4:20 AM

maybe the dude made up the entire thing himself to get the real Chuck to finally come out. he admits himself he's an asshole, right? and it worked.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 4:31 AM

I was just shell shocked to hear this news that he was died of cancer but after reading this article believes that he would come from somewhere jumping and roaming.

Posted by Library App | October 30, 2009 5:35 AM

somehow I had a feeling this was a hoax
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xos2MnVxe-c

Posted by toast | October 30, 2009 5:42 AM

I read about his so called death. I could not believe it. I'm happy to see it was all a mistake and that he is alive.
As for James how could he think that THE Chuck Biscuits would talk to "a NOBODY blogger" (as he describes himself)? It's obviously that he WOULD NOT. So dear James I think you had it coming, sorry but you should be a little more skeptical nowadays. Remember the golden rule of the internet "nobody is who they claim they are".

Posted by Live concert | October 30, 2009 5:47 AM

see, I had heard a completely different story about Chuck. I heard he was floating in a balloon over Colorado

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 8:01 AM

^^What a dumb comment!

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 8:02 AM

Chuck has been out of the music world loop for such a long time it was hard to get any sense of what was really up. I think James is innocent in all this and seemed to have tried his best to shake the truth from the internet trees. I hope people dont ride him too hard and it's of course great news to hear that Chuck's still slinging hash.

A funny story from the early Danzig days. In 88 or 89, I was talking to Chuck at the Emo's in Houston and asked if the guys would like to come to a bbq in the park the next day. A bit sheepishly, Chuck said they would like to but couldn't because Glenn (who wasn't with the rest of the band) didn't allow them out in the sunshine. Haha.

Posted by agentmule | October 30, 2009 9:35 AM

Lame topic, moving on now

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 9:53 AM

8:01-i would like to strap you into a balloon and then torch it when you are thousands of feet up in the air.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 10:06 AM

So glad Chuck isn't dead! Still remember the first time I heard Thall/Demon Sweat and was blown away by the force of his thunder! Come back Chuck! We still love you!

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 10:09 AM

and is this yet another reminder of why blogs have helped to derail music and music criticism altogether? I anticipate the college kids will scream in its defense, but I long for the days when checking/verifying sources (I don't even need three . . . maybe just two) involved something more comprehensive and substantial than wikipedia and googling. Why even admit that's the source of your "research"?

Yes, the bright side might be revisiting a musician's body of work again and finding a few forgotten gems, but the cost is the realization that, well, this giant network (of blogs and music writing) is maintained/edited by no one in particular and that, in fact, the blogosphere might be music/information's own worst enemy.

Alright kids, start your screaming . . . NOW. I anticipate most of the comments will only reinforce the fact that an 18 year old attitude is what shapes the discourse here.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 10:23 AM

Keep your chin up James. Everyone else, don't trust blogs.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 10:25 AM

Didn't Jesus do this once?

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 10:34 AM

ehhh jesus hit that shit more than once dummy.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 10:45 AM

Anon 10:23,

THANK YOU.

I agree with you completely.

So nice to see bloggers(and much of the people making comments on here for that matter),with no real background in journalism or true knowledge of the subjects they speak of, look like complete idiots.

Today is one of those great days.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 10:53 AM

10:23 - How does this "derail music and music criticism"? If anything, it's bad research in music news reporting, which has zero impact on the music industry, music criticism, or music generally.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 11:01 AM

"Today is one of those great days."

for who? bitter out of work journalists I guess.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 11:04 AM

"and is this yet another reminder of why blogs have helped to derail music and music criticism altogether? "

This fake story transcended blogs. It was even reported as true by the CBC.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 11:06 AM

10:23 - i once emailed a great pitchfork writer to point out a bunch of factual inaccuracies in his column and generally bitch about how my old editor for magazines that people actually paid for would have crucified me for writing such nonsense. he responded by telling me how great the world is now that crusty old farts like myself aren't the gatekeepers of what knowledge gets out to the masses. i was dumbfounded and stopped responding. we lose.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 11:28 AM

In related news, Chuck Biscuits is dead.

Posted by Shep | October 30, 2009 12:41 PM

11:01, funny thing is, you are misreading the very point 10:23 is making. Now people who can't read are reading people who can't/shouldn't be writing.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 12:54 PM

well dont feel too bad for him, his record sales will go up

Posted by cha ching | October 30, 2009 2:01 PM

anymore media coverage on this guys?

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 2:19 PM

Chuck Montgomery is a true hero to many musicians in Vancouver. In this city, he is fondly thought of everyday by those who grew up out of the punk scene. He is a living legend who inspired many of us to do what we do. This cruel hoax has been an extremely gutting experience for Chuck's admirers and old friends in his home town. The individuals who launched this adventure will most assuredly not be too welcome around these parts.

Posted by Stubbsonic | October 30, 2009 3:37 PM

Thank you for clearing this all up. Knew it was pure bs earlier when it started as a whisper in august but I still feel bad for all that fell for it, even the guy that wrote it or made the rumor news. So many friends and fans, so concerned. Sad for a moment just seeing the people that didn't know. Sometimes it sucks to be a fan too. God Bongo lives and there's a sucker born every day, some carni says so. i Ultimately and until the end... entertain me more! love it all! Maybe if you moved around a little more Chuck we would know you're alive. Maybe get back on the kit? Hint...
Bad Otis

Posted by Otis | October 30, 2009 5:38 PM

How could someone find this to be a joke and what shabby "journalism" on the part of a few if not many. This just shows how degraded music reporting has become to say the least.

October 30, 2009 10:23 AM

Well said comment.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 6:15 PM

Whew. Piss Aaron and Dumb Larry are so relieved.

Posted by Anonymous | October 30, 2009 8:53 PM

Anonymous, 12:54 - strikes me that 11:01 is reading the point 10:23 is making entirely correctly. ("misreading" is not the same as "disagreeing", btw).

or perhaps you'd care to use your vastly superior comprehension skills to enlighten us as to where the misreading lies?

Posted by tomasz. | October 31, 2009 11:10 AM

"Tabitha Montgomery?" Wasn't Liz Montgomery's character's daughter named that on Bewitched? The fact that the original story is only being refuted with, well, more unsubstantiated hearsay is hilarious. In the old days, lawmen had to prop up the corpses of outlaws they killed and send the pictures back home before they could claim their prize.

Posted by Pat | November 2, 2009 11:57 AM

who would even know about the characters on Bewitched?

Posted by 2 hats delavega | November 2, 2009 5:00 PM

Oh, I don't know, perhaps someone in their mid-forties with a well-publicized affection for 70s-era sweetened breakfast cereals? Maybe not.

Posted by Pat | November 5, 2009 4:17 PM

You can't kill Chuck Biscuits. He's the Chuck Norris of Punk Rock

Posted by Richard Bacchus | January 19, 2010 3:33 PM

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