Posted in books | music | tour dates on June 8, 2011

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Alina Simone
Alina Simone

"It's probably one of the weirdest thing if not the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me," said Simone. "I was not even on the cusp of writing a book, or an article or a short story or anything."

The resulting book is a collection of funny, cynical essays on meeting sketchy producers off of Craigslist, her obsession with Skopsy, a Russian castrati set, and battling fleas in her Williamsburg apartment. [The Brooklyn Paper]

Brooklyn singer/songwriter Alina Simone is not only celebrating the release of her new album Make Your Own Danger tomorrow (6/9) at Joe's Pub, but also her first book of personal essays, You Must Go and Win. She'll be reading from her book in addition to performing with a band that includes Conrad Doucette on drums. Alina's longtime friend Amanda Palmer will be a special guest at the show. According to Amanda's twitter, tickets are almost sold out.

Alina Simone is also performing at Largehearted Lit: Singers Who Write, Writers Who Sing tonight (6/8) at WORD in Brooklyn with Wesley Stace (aka John Wesley Harding). In July she'll appear at the second Girls Write Now benefit at Brooklyn Winery (7/14) with Deb Olin Unferth, Jami Attenberg, Maud Newton, and Kio Stark.

Amanda Palmer has some of her own upcoming shows as well. She plays a show at a secret location in Boston on 6/25 (details at her site), and NYC-area shows at Maxwell's on June 22 and The Bell House on June 23. Both of those NYC-area shows, both with Sarah Borrello and Lady Lamb the Beekeeper, unfortunately sold out before we even realized they were announced to famous Amanda's 500,000+ Twitter followers.

Speaking of which, Alina started videotaping her friend Amanda 12 years ago. "She wanted to be famous" and "succeeded", says Alina in the video of lost 1999 footage she recently posted to Youtube. Check that out below.

You can pick up a copy of Alina's book You Must Go and Win and her album Make Your Own Danger as MP3, CD, and LP. Grab two songs off the album for free above too.

All dates, some videos where Alina's friend Eugene Mirman gives her book marketing advice, and Alina's video of Amanda Palmer, below...


Alina Simone 2011 Dates
6/8/2011, WORD, Brooklyn, NY Largehearted Lit w/John Wesley Harding (and traditional Doukhobor treats prepared by the Brooklyn Baker) 7:30 PM
6/9/2011, Joe's Pub, NY, NY, CD & Book-Release Party, 7 PM w/. guest Amanda Palmer
6/13/2011, The Make Out Room, The Rumpus Monthly Reading/Music Series, San Francisco, CA, 7:30 PM
6/14/2011, Alexander Book Company, 12:30 pm
6/15/2011, The Record Room, Portland, Oregon
6/16/2011, Los Angeles Public Library ALOUD series, In conversation with Eric J. Lawrence, KCRW DJ and Music Librarian, 7 pm
6/20/2011, Brookline Booksmith, Brookline, MA
6/21/2011, Space Gallery, Portland, ME
7/14/2011, Brooklyn Winery, Girls Who Write benefit, Brooklyn, NY w/Deb Olin Unferth, Jami Attenberg, Maud Newton, and Kio Stark
8/18/2011, McCarren Park, 3 Minute Story: Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll, Brooklyn, NY
9/17/2011, The Book Mill, Montague, MA with Jedediah Berry. 8 pm.

Amanda Palmer 2011 Dates
06/09/11 New York, NY Joes Pub (as part of Alina Simone's show)
06/22/11 Hoboken, NJ Maxwell's
06/23/11 Brooklyn, NY The Bell House
06/25/11 Near Boston, MA ???
08/25/11 Edingurgh HMV Picture House United Kingdom
08/26/11 Glasgow The Arches United Kingdom
09/01/11 Brighton Concorde 2 United Kingdom
09/02/11 London Heaven United Kingdom
09/05/11 London ??? United Kingdom
09/06/11 Vienna Arena Austria
09/07/11 Amsterdam Melkweg (The Old Hall) Netherlands



Comments (34)

Amanda Palmer is literally the **worst**

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 11:12 AM

Agreed @11:12

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 11:13 AM

So she wanted "to be famous", ah?
So gaga of you, amanda...

Posted by Me | June 8, 2011 11:23 AM

I would totally bone Alina

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 12:24 PM

Let's see - one woman in the article above is a sublimely talented musician and I would listen to anything she sung or wrote.

The other looks like a huge, thick-necked quarterback who forgot to take her meds while scarfing down breakfast at a trough in a diner and keeps bleating about wanting to be famous because she has no other skills other than blowing old men.

Oh well, helped her with her Plan B - getting a dwarf millionaire washed-up,genre writer to support her when the audience lost interest in her talentless stunts.

Posted by Mason | June 8, 2011 12:34 PM

I think that she's pregnant, you unobservant child

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 12:53 PM

The huge, untalented, blow-job-dispensing quarterback can only be Amanda. The sublimely-talented, beautifully-pregnant Alina is the other musician. (Actually Alina is the only person referred to above who can actually sing and make music.)

Posted by CvB | June 8, 2011 1:30 PM

Subtitled "Stuff Williamsburg Poseurs Like," part 2.

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 2:04 PM

"Amanda Palmer is literally the **worst**"

Worse than Hitler???

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 2:15 PM

worse that hitler

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 2:31 PM

Hitler was more attractive and feminine looking, had a smaller neck and less flabby arse and had a more appealing personality than Amanda.

Posted by Kate | June 8, 2011 2:54 PM

Hitler Was A Sensitive Man

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 3:05 PM

Hitler had a better haircut and could carry a tune. His mustache was also better than Amanda's. Hitler to the best of my knowledge was also not a trust-funded, Scientologist wanna-be-hipster.

Posted by Slade | June 8, 2011 3:15 PM

and Hitler was a better painter than Amanda ... he could paint a whole room in one hour's time ... two coats!

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 3:26 PM

Hitler was a vegetarian
He was also a non-smoker

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 3:35 PM

shes a scientologist? isnt she married to neail gaimen? its like goths WANT to be cliched.

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 4:05 PM

Gaiman is a major. major player in Scientology. Amanda's family is also a notable Scientologist family.

She and Gaiman CLAIM to be married - doubtful. Expect an announcement later when they "discover" that Jason Webley, the person who "performed" the faux ceremony wasn't actually licensed by the state of California and - oopsie! - they are not actually married.

So interesting to read between their lines - no mention by Palmer of her huge new Brooklyn space and her desperation to break into the NYC theatre world using Gaiman's CAA agency contacts.

Guess it would break the illusion that she is a struggling DIY artist - albeit one with access to Gaiman's luxury homes, luxurious hotel stays, access to Gaiman's friends' luxurious pads, luxury cars etc. expensive European yoga retreats etc. These things aren't paid for by Twitter money or by busking. The dichotomy and the hypocrisy are absolutely delicious.

Posted by StevieB | June 8, 2011 4:20 PM

Yo I wanna get somma dat own mah fingah

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 5:15 PM

That's Amanda posting at 5:15 pm. It's her signature "ghetto" voice. She really is pathetic.

Posted by DFG | June 8, 2011 6:19 PM

What a fat stroppy cunt that Amanda is.

Posted by Ben | June 8, 2011 7:26 PM

4:20 - the fact that you know all these details makes me afraid that I will sit next to you on the subway. Or do you EVEN RIDE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION?

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 7:30 PM

Screw all you who are talking shit about Amanda. It shows just how much of a cunt all YOU really are.

Also, Amanda and Neil are married. They had an official marriage. The one with Jason was a joke.

Before Amanda met Gaiman, she didn't have all the luxury shit you're talking about. She really was a struggling artist. Learn the facts before you slur shit together.

Posted by Tyler | June 8, 2011 8:39 PM

Well Tyler, if relying on your wealthy, Scientologist suburban parents as a fallback for rent, to fund the junior-year abroad and if relying on said parents' social contacts and if relying on wealthy older men's largesse and "friendship" constitutes a struggle then I guess Amanda "Open-Wide" Palmer was struggling. Desperately. She's not an artist though. Not even mummy's money and Gaiman's Scientology contacts can buy that.

Posted by DaVinci | June 8, 2011 8:57 PM

why do you care about these people? you do not figure into their social circle, economic outlook, or how to get ahead in business 5-year plan.

get a life

Posted by Anonymous | June 8, 2011 9:25 PM

@9:25 They provide a certain sordid too-much-information amusement for the masses - doubly so when they inevitably crash and burn. But you are right - Palmer and Gaiman's alliance is a business plan - let's see if they re-up the contract in a few years' time.

Posted by Nicole | June 8, 2011 9:42 PM

I'm talking as an artist, not how she got through college. And she is an artist, your mind can't seem to understand that.

Let me define an artist for you: an artist is someone who shows creativity. Myself, Amanda, and even you are an artist. Even people of Mainstream media are artists. Whether it's good or not, it doesn't matter. It's still art. I don't care if you like her art or not, it's the crap people are pulling from their minds that bothers me. People are saying stuff they just assume or made up.

They have no facts. No evidence. So why even speak?

Because they are ignorant.

Posted by Tyler | June 8, 2011 10:50 PM

Tyler, you seem barely literate so I'll keep this short. Amanda Palmer is not a legitimate artist (a bullshit artist yes) but not an artist who has mastered an instrument or shows any transcendent, creative skill. She is good at ginning up publicity for her freak show endeavors, riding on the coat-tails of true creatives but unable to create anything durable or worthwhile. No one will care who Amanda Palmer was three or four years from now. And deep in her soul, she knows it.

Posted by Eva | June 8, 2011 11:24 PM

Everyone is an artist. Everyone is a scientist. Everyone can be President. Good show, Professor. Let's throw out everything and just all get along. But, since you obviously have enough money to afford spending a bit of free time typing long explanations here, and since you seem to be fairly well nourished, how about you send some of mommy and daddy's money over here, to a struggling artist without such privilege? If you want to be universal and fair, it should begin at home and according someone else's construct of "fair".

Posted by Anonymous | June 9, 2011 11:30 AM

The freaks come out at night

Posted by Anonymous | June 9, 2011 11:31 AM

You can't master an instrument.

Obviously she's more creative than you'll ever be because, well, she has fans and supporters. You have very few people backing you up.

These are my final words on this topic. Feel free to respond, but don't expect an answer back unless you say something really idiotic.

Actually, one more thing. All of you are here because of Alina. Amanda is her friend. Why can't any of you at least be respectful to a friend of someone you like? If I was Alina and I saw this, I would hate to see that these were my fans. People who have no respect at all.

And the very last thing, I'm sorry if I have offended anyone. What I wrote before was late at night so I tend to be really angry then.


Posted by Tyler | June 9, 2011 1:08 PM

StevieB is right.

Amanda Fail Palmer is in a deal with one of the biggest Scientology families on the planet and Gaiman just chucked half a million into their coffers last Spring via his ex-wife and business partner in The Blank Corp, Mary Gaiman who lives in his backyard.

Once Gaiman and Palmer signed their contract, Scientology agreed to pull every string which is why there was a sudden campaign of posters, appearances, photo shoots, Sea Org Twitter followers, films and wobble dolls within a month of their relationship going public. Most contracts are 10 years. Who starts a brand new relationship and within a month starts churning out products on this level? People in a contract do. And it will continue non stop. Gaiman has the appearance of success because of Scientology buying him awards. Scienos control the Nebulas, Hugos and the library association. But he doesn't have main stream success. His film attempts have failed and his books don't sell through. Now his contract money is pathetically small and even DC comics won't pay him more than he made in the 80's. Gaiman doesn't need the money anyway, he is rich from the vitamin company his Scientology family owns, hawking the purification rundown.

Gaiman is sick of writing. He just wants to tweet and get onstage to get his fix. Writing is too hard. Why not just act like a jackass onstage with Palmer and have 20 people clap?

Amanda Fail Palmer signed a Faustian pact with the Gaiman Scientology Dynasty. Her family is Sea Org, the lower class Scienos. That's why she will not say the "S" word in public. Strange, don't you think that a woman who sells her used underwear online and waxes lyrical on her menses will not utter the word Scientology? Palmer is a freak and no agency like CAA will touch her with a 10 foot pole.

It will backfire though.... Scientologists have no editor and their belief systems are looney. They can't pass for normal. Without someone to warn them when they're out of line, their behavior escalates and will grow more erratic and insane. Look at the album they just cut? They think it's okay to tweet and mock people and write a song in 10 minutes.

Pass the popcorn and prepare for the disaster film finish of two mid-level Scientologists imploding!

Posted by Algernon | July 5, 2011 2:49 AM

People are saying mean things about Amanada because if Alina is friends with her, I assume she is involved in Scientology too. Which is a cult that destroys lives. Gayman's parents & entire family are some of the world's highest ranging members/leaders in the cult.

He CHOOSE to raise his 3 kids in the cult from birth. He never gave them any choice to deceide if they wanted to be subjected to what they do to children. Not his kids, the slave labor is for the "poor" SC's people's kids. Although poor people are encourgage to have abortions and not have kids and the rich are encourgage to have many and turn them into little zombies to carry on the cult. But his kids were subjected to the awful terriorizing methods they use on ALL members, no matter how high up.

Scientology has made no major changes since the mentally ill L Ron Hubbard started it as a way to make $ and get rich decades ago. When they lose their religious standing (which keeps the govt out of the slave labor camps) and keeps them a non-profit orgization. They certainly aren't non-profit and what they do if looked into by authorities to children would put a lot of people in jail for child abuse and assorted charges. Adults can make a chose to be hooked to a machine that zaps them if they express emotion when answering, but children legally should not have such things done to them.

Anyone who cares about children and their welfare (and Aline is pregnant, shit) should be concerned about what Scientology is doing to them. Their brain-washed parents can't help them and no one is an advocate of the helpless children born into the cult-families.

Scientologists do not become "close" friends with non-members. They do USE them and "pretend" to be friends with them. Waht Oprah hates Tom Cruise so much. She actually beleived he was her friend, when she found out he was using her, she let him have it.

Ao Alina could be getting "used" by Alina or she's a cult-member too. They do not beleive in love or emotion, only in learning how to "llok" like they are experiencing these emotions, but not to actually feel them from birth.

So this is why the shit falls on Alina. Being friends with evil cult-members has a price.

Posted by Hypnochick | July 5, 2011 11:10 PM

Yeah how dare she do well in life, how dare she be successful and happy, she should be like everyone here on this board, jealous miserable negative if you were anything else you wouldn't write that crap, jesus Christ do people like you want to zap away anyone with a dream an ambition ? Bye, keep smiling happys.

Posted by Chris | August 14, 2011 9:20 AM

Gaiman and Palmer and the Sea Org idiots are hilarious when they come on these threads... "We are productive and successful! How dare you criticize us!" This is the old Scientology manifesto to be busy all the time and make money for the cult.

Newsflash: Gaiman and Palmer, you are NOT successful, you are a pair of desperate try-hard annoying pests.

Posted by Are you fucking kidding me???? | September 25, 2011 4:12 AM

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