Posted in metal | music | tour dates on March 12, 2012

by BBG

Autopsy in LA (more by Adam Murray)
Autopsy

I am beyond proud to present the return of AUTOPSY for their first show in NYC in 19 years! The band will do a pair of east coast dates that will include a stop in NYC on May 4th and another in Chicago on May 5. Look for the band at The Bell House on May 4th, joined by support from Funebrarum (their first NYC show in six years), Unearthly Trance and Undergang. Tickets are on sale for this BV/Order of The Serpent event. The show will be the band's ONLY NYC date, and their last for who knows how long....

Autopsy also plays a sold-out night at Maryland Deathfest and will also head overseas to play the Inferno Festival in Norway over Easter weekend along with Bolt Fest, a UK festival featuring Bolt Thrower, Discharge, Benediction and Vallenfyre.

Crusty-death metal crew Undergang, who recently impressed at a string of dates that included Chaos in Tejas and just returned from a successful European tour with Funebrarum, will make the trek from Denmark (!) for the Brooklyn show. No word on if that will translate into additional shows though... we'll keep you up to date.

All tour dates and a video for the title track from their recent All Tomorrow's Funerals is below...

--

May 4th

Autopsy - All Tomorrow's Funerals (from All Tomorrow's Funerals)

Autopsy - Severed Survival

Autopsy - Disembowel

Autopsy - Dark Crusade

AUTOPSY - 2012 TOUR DATES
May 6th--- Inferno Festival ----Oslo, Norway
May 7th--- Boltfest ----London, UK
May 4th--- THe Bell House ----Brooklyn, NY, USA
May 5th--- Reggie's Rock Club ----Chicago, IL, USA
May 24th---Maryland Deathfest X---Baltimore, MD, USA

---

      

Comments (192)

BBG has pulled off what NO NYC PROMOTER/BOOKING AGENT has - GOT AUTOPSY IN NYC!!!!!!!!!!!

WAY TO GO BRO!!!

MCS


Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 1:40 PM

excellent!

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 1:50 PM

Dr. G should open up for these guys..

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 1:51 PM

funebrarum opened for demilich in 2006 at north six

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 1:55 PM

Unbelievable line up ... this is a must for all true death metal fiends ... SUPPORT

Posted by EarlGreyTea | March 12, 2012 1:56 PM

@1:55,
you are correct.... amended. Info came from the Funebrarum guys but was incorrect. Thanks for reading! - BBG

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 2:00 PM

Aghhh I want to go, if only it was closer to MDF

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 2:09 PM

I keep thinking this is Obituary for some reason. Lol, I need some coffee.

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 2:16 PM

Funebrarum killed last year at MDF

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 4:10 PM

Now this is what im talking about

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 4:33 PM

And a GREAT venue too!
Hope this opens the doors for Metal at the Bell House!

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 4:36 PM

The sausage community is all a tizzy!

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 5:12 PM

First a black president and now this! What a great time to be alive.

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 7:45 PM

5:12: But what's the gay, er, I mean indie community have to do with this?

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 10:11 PM

"BBG has pulled off what NO NYC PROMOTER/BOOKING AGENT has - GOT AUTOPSY IN NYC!!!!!!!!!!!
WAY TO GO BRO!!!
MCS"

This guy is absolutely fucking right. Autopsy hasn't played in nearly 20 years and it didn't look likely they ever would. Thankfully the trolls have left this article alone, because, honestly, this is one of the biggest 'gets' BV has ever accomplished. Like metal or not, this is fucking HUGE news.

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 10:43 PM

I'll always remember where I was when I heard the news that Autopsy was playing. Game changer.

Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2012 10:54 PM

how is this a "get"? mdf got them to reunite by paying them a shit ton of money. and any promoter willing to pay their ridiculous guarantee is able to book them. big get.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 3:38 AM

Eastbound and Down

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:27 AM

"Thankfully the trolls have left this article alone"

Autopsy doesn't even register on the radar. It's meaningless news, except of course that I'll need to order in Chinese that night (since no pizzas delivery will be available in north Brooklyn)

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:48 AM

Hey 3:38am

This is a huge "get" becasue:

- it is weeks prior to MDF
- it has been 19 years since playing NYC
- Autopsy are bigger NOW than they ever were.

I also LOVE that the hipster herbs and false trolls have left this alone - THEY DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS BAND IS! Good!

MCS

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 12:32 PM

^yup

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 1:07 PM

^^ the only ones who care are closeted sausages. so, pat yourself on the back for that, pizza delivery boy.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 3:28 PM

^ Shouldn't you be bitching about how little foam they put in your fruity little latte and commenting on how Daughter "killed it" in the article below, dummy?

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 4:47 PM

I swear, if I ever hear some hipster fuck say "sausage" within an earshot of me, I'm smacking the shit out of him.

I will give you hipsters this much: Your bitchmade natures make your girlfriends easy pickings for a dude (who actually acts like one) who's had a few drinks just wants to bust a nut. Those broads keep coming back too. I guess you herbs are useful for something (other than biodegradability).

Posted by I don't like you! (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8!) | March 13, 2012 7:37 PM

^steamed sausage

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:17 PM

^
Truth hurts huh? How does that sausage taste? You tasted some dude's "sausage" the last time you kissed your girlfriend. Don't hate because your dick game is wack.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:24 PM

^ uhh the person on the other end of the gloryhole in St. Vitus' mens room isn't a female.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:31 PM

^
Oh, so it was your mouth?

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:34 PM

@ 8:34 -- Oops . . . . misread. Faded. My bad.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:37 PM

^nah, just some random fatass DL hillbilly

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:37 PM

@8:37

Oooh, witty. Funny thing, most of you hipsters ARE hillbillies. That's what's you midwesterners look like to those of us from either coast.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:39 PM

@8:37

You're from "flyover country" FFS! Dumb culturless hicks trying bring "culture" to places that already have real culture. Hipster holocaust NOW!

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:40 PM

8:34 by his own admission gets BJ's at St. Vitus's legendary glory hole. lulz

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 8:56 PM

^^

It's obvious he was making a reference to the hipster attempting to demonstrate some non-existent wit.

Posted by I don't like you! (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8!) | March 13, 2012 9:00 PM

@8:56 -- It's a know fact that hipsters are "down low" in the extreme. It's one of the reasons their girlfriends cheat on them.

Posted by I don't like you! (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8!) | March 13, 2012 9:04 PM

reality check: sausages you're overweight, immature, under-employed, LARPing losers. You're not exactly what any women with options is looking for. Sorry, but the truth hurts.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 9:10 PM

I like fat guys in tight black t-shirts.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 9:13 PM

@9:10

LOL! Yeah, a trust fund hipster who's pissed away the college his daddy paid for (how's that liberal arts degree? LOL!), and works as a barista calling someone "underemployed". You're the one who looks like a butthurt little bitch when I don't tip your sorry ass when you serve me my coffee. LOL! Dream on loser. A hipster's idea of overweight is anyone who doesn't look like they're in the advanced stages of AIDS.

Reality Check: No matter how much you hipsters try to invent an "interesting" persona for yourselves, you're still dull, middle-of-the-road, cultureless losers who are envious of those better than them (which is pretty much everyone).

You were dull, cultureless losers in that podunk town where you grew up (no one liked you) and you're still dull, middle-of-the-road, cultureless losers while you waste oxygen in the "big city" (where no one likes you). You're still envious, even with your carefully crafted persona, of those better than you (even Juggalos FFS are better than you).

Posted by I don't like you! (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8!) | March 13, 2012 9:22 PM

Best thread in quite a spell.

Posted by Blag | March 13, 2012 9:49 PM

Lulz at 9:22. This furious sausage has convinced himself that being overweight is somehow subjective.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 9:52 PM

@ 9:52

Usage of "lulz" and other played out internet memes is an indicative of a TOTAL LOSER.

Face it hipster, your pseudo-subculture is the butt of every other subculture's joke. "Hipster" has become an all-purpose insult among those in real subcultures (metalheads, skinheads, punks, rivetheads and real goths).

Trust me, the collective douchebaggery of your pathetic tribe has earned you a place so low in the subcultural pecking order, that if you look up, a Juggalo may shit on you.

Posted by I don't like you! (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8!) | March 13, 2012 10:20 PM

*correction* "is indicative". I know you butthurt hipsters are clutching at straws right now and have no aversion to "grammar (f)lames". You guys are THAT pathetic.

Posted by I don't like you! (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8!) | | March 13, 2012 10:22 PM

^burnt sausage

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 10:44 PM

Speaking of Juggalos, I don't particularly care for them. They tend to be classless, annoying hicks. However, they still have more redeeming qualities (even if it's only one) than hipsters. Here's a real life example:

Some hipster lets some smug shit fall out of his mouth within earshot of me. The cloud of "smug and smarm" which hung over him for a good part of the night dissipates with a quickness as I approach him. I get in his face in and punk him. His girlfriend actually steps in to defend him.

(2 be continued)

Posted by HipstersAreABadJoke | March 13, 2012 10:45 PM

@10:44

You're still a hipster. You're lower than even a juggalo. That's low.

Posted by HipstersAreABadJoke | March 13, 2012 10:48 PM

(continued from part 1)

I'm taken aback and somewhat impressed because this little broad showed some actual courage. I tell her, "you either keep your bitch in line" in reference to her boyfreind, "or you shut the fuck up and let him fight his own battles". Wouldn't you know it? The chickenshit doesn't say shit to me -- Even after I tell his old lady to STFU!

He wanted to do something, but what can a rail thin hipster without an ounce of muscle do against a skinhead who works out regularly and has had one too many stouts (with shots of Vodka scattered throughout)?

(2 be continued)

Posted by HipstersAreABadJoke | March 13, 2012 10:49 PM

(continued from part 2)

To make matters worse, he actually starts getting on her case telling HER to be quiet. Once again, I'm taken aback. I look at the dude, shake my head, say "bitch" then head back in for another drink. What a coward.

Shortly after, I'm at the bar and she comes up and apologizes for that little twat she calls her boyfriend. I tell her, he needs to watch what comes out of his mouth or at least be ready to deal with the consequences.

How do Juggalos figure into all of this? A Juggalo will actually defend that STD-laden trailer trash, beached whale of a girlfriend and be ready to throw some fists. Hell, he'd be ready to square off as soon as I stepped to him. That's something I can respect.

Posted by HipstersAreABadJoke | March 13, 2012 10:51 PM

Hipsters are doomed to live the same "mainstream" lives as those the "mainstream" types they PRETEND to be against since they ARE those "mainstream" types. When daddy cuts off the cashflow and tells you lames to "Get a real job you lazy fuck", you hipsters will drop all pretenses and be a "chickenshit conformist just like your parents.

However, one thing will still remain the same: Your wives will still be sexually frustrated just like the previous women in your lives. When the wifey is going out for a "night on the town" with the "girls", you best believe she's on the other side of town looking for some new dick. If she's in Minneapolis (hipster central) or from the surrounding areas, then she's probably looking for some "dark meat" -- just like many of your mothers do.

I'm sure there's a hipster or two in Brooklyn, DC, or LA who calls some chocolate chasing, dick-hungry Minneapolis cougar "mom".

Posted by HipstersAreABadJoke | March 13, 2012 11:02 PM

^this sausage is furious. He's writing novellas.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 11:02 PM

@11:02

Oh come on! I thought you hipsters were "creative". I came here for some serious "blog comment drama". Is this the best you lames can do? I guess it would be a "novella" for someone who works as a Barista and has a worthless lib arts degree to show for the years he wasted in college. Hurry up with my Mocha bitch or I won't tip you!

Posted by HipstersAreABadJoke | March 13, 2012 11:07 PM

I'm not a hipster, and actually share in the disgust and rejection of them. And I haven't even posted here until now. But in this furious sausage (above) just reminds me why I hate all you sausage fucks maybe even more than hipsters. You are so angry, so irrational, and so compelled to prove your rightness that I cannot imagine any possible universe in which any woman would have more than a couple of minutes of idle curiosity with you. The same way she might wonder where the garbage man takes her trash these days. No, you are the one without a woman, without a clue, and I'm not even mentioning your obvious weight issues and glaringly low self-awareness.

I would like to see you try to "smack the shit out of" me, sausage. I guarantee that would be a mistake for which you would receive a few choice souvenirs from me to remind you of your poor judgment for many years to come.

Posted by Anonymous | March 13, 2012 11:47 PM

You use the term "sausage", then you are a hipster. Period. It's a known fact that hipsters always deny their hipstertude. I guess even hipsters know deep down inside what a bad joke they are.

In your post (you must have pushed that substandard brain of yours to its limits), you have displayed all of the characteristics of the subhuman species known as "douchebagus hispteris". Your "garbageman" swipe at me is pure hipster snobbery. You toolbags are predictable in the extreme.

Furious? LOL! You're the one who's sufferering from "net rage" and ass-bleeding butthurt. You have no idea of how obvious you are.

Irrational? Looks like the hipster is clutching at straws. If I smack the shit out of your hipster ass, the only thing you'll do (other than cry as hipster often do when a Skinhead smacks them) is call the cops.

The following statement of yours is pure unintentional comedy gold:

"you would receive a few choice souvenirs from me to remind you of your poor judgment for many years to come."

LOL! Sorry, but your online "toughguy" persona is far from convincing. Damn, you hipsters fail at everything.

Dream on loser.

NOW HURRY UP WITH MY FUCKING MOCHA!!!

Posted by HipstersAreABadJoke | March 14, 2012 12:14 AM

I'm going to set loose several jars full of Asian hornets in American Apparel, Urban Outfitters and at the local hipster "metal" show.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:24 AM

They're going to sting you pseudo-ironic, fixed-gear douchetards. Over and over again. It's going to hurt. Alot. Everytime an Asian Hornet stings a hipster, it has an orgasm.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:26 AM

The sausages always think it's one person posting. Stupid sausages.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 12:31 AM

I may throw some killer bees into the mix. I'm sure Wu-Tang killer bees and Asian Hornets can put aside their differences (Hymenopterans need to stick together) for a worthy cause. What cause could be more worthy than stinging hipsters to death? Bzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Would the addition of Bull Ants/"Jack Jumpers" be overkill? NAH! I think they would round out the "Hymenopteran Axis against Hipsters" quite nicely.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:32 AM

@12:31

The hipsters always think . . . wait, hipsters don't think (at least not very well). Hipsters are generally useless when alive. The only time a hipster is useful is when it is sent through a wood-chipper to create some "hipster mulch". Great fertilizer.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:37 AM

^ sausage is as sausage does.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 7:12 AM

Sausage always looses

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 9:31 AM

12:37(AHJ): Makes sense, considering they have the stench of fertilizer as well. What's the next comeback from them? "Sausage"? Der her, how original.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 9:54 AM

@9:54AM

Oh, of course. It's the classic but unconvincing "pretending not to care" pose. You can set your watch on the predictability of these douchenozzles.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 11:39 AM

stupid sausages, by the time they figure out the joke is on them it's too late.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 11:41 AM

stupid hipster, there's nothing to figure out. There is no joke (other than yourself). You fail again.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 11:43 AM

Go slip in a mosh pit, sausage boy. That is, if it's not your turn at the St._Vitus_glory_hole or you shift delivering pizzas.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 11:49 AM

^
I'll give you a D- as opposed to a "F" since you really did make an effort (albeit pitiful). Retard. LOL!

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:01 PM

^ that's so nice, since you know I'm really looking for validation from a fat fuck sausage. Dumbass.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 12:14 PM

^
Bullshit. Seeking validation is part and parcel of a hipster's existence.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:17 PM

Too bad a hipster's existence is characterized by failure (in your case it was your father's failure to pull out of some slut during a drunken tryst, and the failure of your mom to hit up "Planned Parenthood"). I never knew 175 lbs at 5 foot 8 was a "fat fuck". I look good, you don't. PFBBBBT!!!

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:21 PM

^it's a little Napoleon sausage. lulz

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 12:31 PM

Ha! It's so amusing to me to see such anger from some LI meathead who's still pissed about moving to BK after Biohazard's heyday. It's great because these idiots with tattoos who talk all that tough guy shit are invariably the limpest dicks in the room.

It's OK AntiHipsterWhatever, we all remember the Korn t-shirts you wore in high school, we remember the way they folded into your sunken chest. Jesus Christ, you were the guys that the fucking *math club* picked on! I used to stick up for kids like you. Now y'all shave your heads, are proud of your rampant alcoholism, disrespect women (while I seriously doubt you even know what a pussy looks like in person), and spend your time ranting at "hipsters" on BV. What a waste.

And just to be clear: I'm an Irish redneck from the Delta swamps. I grew up drinking and fighting. I will absolutely smash you.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 12:35 PM

^
I'm still much bigger than you. Ask your girlfriend. It's perhaps the only black racial stereotype that I actually fit.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:36 PM

hipters --> ovens

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:37 PM

sausages --> Papa Johns

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 12:39 PM

12:35 is full of shit. Another hipster trying to be creative and failing. Not one drop of Irish blood flows through his veins nor is he a "redneck" of any sort. "Delta Swamps?" I never knew N. Dakota or Minnesota had a "delta swamp". I'll give you this much: At least you attempted to post something other than "Sausage", but there is no way in hell that you're some "Irish Redneck" (LOL!). You're probably another passive aggressive Minneasota beardo of Norwegian and French ancestry.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:45 PM

Papa Johns = place of employment for hipsters when they realize their liberal arts degree is worthless in the real world and daddy cuts off the cashflow.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:47 PM

^hasn't worked since he got laid off from the Blockbuster in Mineola.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 12:50 PM

"douchenozzles"


Yeah, that's another term for hipsters/trendies.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 12:51 PM

@12:35

I bet I've seen you around my way. I'm the one who makes you nervous when you're on your fixed-gear bike and I'm "crowding" with my car making you think I'm going to hit you. It's funny watching you herbs pedal furiously and still going at a snail's pace. Perhaps you jerkoffs should save your tips from your barista or pizza delivery job (or beg your parents for $$$ like usual) and invest in a REAL bike.

Posted by M18HellcatFullSpeedHeadOnCollisionWithAFixie | March 14, 2012 12:51 PM

"Oh, of course. It's the classic but unconvincing "pretending not to care" pose. You can set your watch on the predictability of these douchenozzles."


Yep. Hipsters flooding these articles with their "sausage" comments are as predictable as you can get. And that's not even including the "sausage" cravings they salivate for here. I guess trendies being all fairy-vegan and the like ARE really stereotypes after all. See? I don't need to see all narrow and such! Huzzah!

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 12:54 PM

@12:50

Yawn. More clutching at straws. Just remember, you're the one serving my coffee. You're the one who, despite your air of smugness, is literally begging (deep down inside) me for a tip.

Posted by AntiHipsterJihad | March 14, 2012 12:55 PM

sausages, dissing hipsters is not going to get you laid. Try making a little bit more $ or hitting the gym once in awhile. The retarded music and ghoulish wardrobes aren't helping either.So put the bullet belt down, do a situp here and there, and stop getting stoked for shit like an Autopsy shows. It's not that hard.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 12:59 PM

"dissing hipsters is not going to get you laid."

Is that what it's all about? Going only to shows just to find girls that you hipsters are too afraid to approach in the first place? Ha! What priorities!


"...*pointless nonsense*... stop getting stoked for shit like an Autopsy shows. It's not that hard."


How 'bout you trendy losers stop getting stoked for shit like Atlas Sound and Wavves and then maybe we'll talk.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 1:03 PM

I don't like hipsters, but let's keep it real, there are plenty of females around hipsters. Metal dudes, not so much :(

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 1:08 PM

Just because there aren't too many girls into metal doesn't mean that guys who like metal are latent homosexuals. And the hipsters that those females are around might be the homosexual friend of theirs or perhaps it's a hipster girl as well.


Some food for thought :)

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 1:11 PM

^yeah what ever you need to do to talk yourself into believing that

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 1:12 PM

@1:08

Yeah, but let's face it. Many hipster chicks are NOTHING to really look at and are often as worthless as the "men" that they're with. They all belong in death camps with the other posers. Start up the woodchipper. If I want to meet females, I'll hit up a Latin club. Latinas are million times better than any hicktown Hipsterette named "meg".

Hipster ---> Ovens.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 1:17 PM

1:17: Haha! Good enough for me! I've also noticed that hipster chicks like coke. Even the underage ones!


1:12: Uh, nice one? I guess?

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 1:33 PM

@1:03

Good one. True as well.

Posted by FixedGearFucktardPosersAndTheirWenchesToTheWoodChippersOrOvens | March 14, 2012 1:52 PM

I've noticed that metal chicks like Big Macs

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 2:08 PM

^ I've noticed that people who say stuff like 2:08 did are most often latent homosexuals who also hate women because they wish they knew what it felt like to have female private parts.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 2:15 PM

Rats.

The thread got ruined after all :(

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 2:25 PM

The only latent homosexuals in this thread are the sausages, those that prefer the company of other men, hot sweaty other men, bald hot sweaty other men with angry faces and large bulges. That is why St.*Vitus*Glory*Hole is such a popular sausage attraction. (go ahead and tell yourself that the "woman" on the other side just had rough hair).

waste of sperm.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 2:35 PM

keep telling yourself that, buddy. you seem to have a lot of information...

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 2:56 PM

$32?!?! Do you know how many pizzas I have to deliver for that kind of scratch?

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 3:06 PM

Q: What does a sausage do on it's day off?
A: Has anonymous gay sex with other sausages, of course!

Oh, was that too close to home sausage boy?

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 3:25 PM

2:35 = Hipster psychoanalysis fail. Go back to your boring, whitebread, podunk shithole in flyover country and stay there.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 3:35 PM

I have to step in on the homos calling other homos 'homos' thing. This is all one-sided from the trolls who (maybe, if they aren't just trying to be funny) hate the metal posts. I see some metal homos trying to fight back. I think if I had to bet on which homos are actually homos, the 'hipster' homos are probably the real homos and not the 'sausages.'

Posted by an actual homo | March 14, 2012 3:43 PM

For hipsters who like to call out metalheads as dumb shithead sausages, you sure are terribly homophobic and think it's insulting to judge a man by how many women he gets (objectifying women much?). Nobody cares, except for you hipsters who seem so insecure in your own masculinity that you make cheap jokes about other males' supposed insecurities.

(As a lady 'sausage', I acknowledge there's a shit ton of homophobia, sexism, etc. in the metal scene - you hipsters or whatever group you identify with are simply just not any better.)

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 3:45 PM

^ dumbass, the sausage earlier in the thread brought up his potency with the ladies, so learn to read and chill the fuck out OK?!??

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 3:49 PM

Yeah, I guess I can do this too. Look everyone, I'm a different sausage

Posted by Somebody else | March 14, 2012 3:50 PM

Hipsters trying to be sausages now I've seen it all

Posted by No Yer Not | March 14, 2012 3:51 PM

Lady Sausage....lulz

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 3:53 PM

I'm not a hipster - I was born here, and I detest the hipsterification of my borough.
I'm not a sausage - sure I like metal, and play guitar, but fuck if I'm gonna be associate with the asshats I see in these pictures and I've known from guitar circles.
I'm not a homosexual - nice try, sausage, but woefully wrong
I'm not homophobic - I am not afraid of homosexuals. Many of my friends are gay, and you can't get but a day in the music world without running into one of "those poeple" (ha ha menat to do that)

I do not understand what motivates some of you posting here. But I don't really care. For all I know the angy trolls that inhabit the "hipster" threads may be undercover sausages (kind of like those bodega egg things, yaknowhatahmsayin).

Posted by Neither Not | March 14, 2012 3:57 PM

Lady Sausage = either Strap-On Sally or Total Flaming Freddy Sausage (probably wearing women's underwear at the same time, like that guy in Silence Of The Lambs)

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 3:58 PM

"... call out metalheads as dumb shithead sausages ..."

Well I sure didn't use those words, but if the shoe fits ....

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:01 PM

3:57 - "Many of my friends are gay" hahahahahaha. That's very 1980's of you. Do you not care if people are "black, white, or green" either?

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:04 PM

when did sausages start thinking of themselves as somehow cosmopolitan?


lulz

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:04 PM

"Do you not care if people are "black, white, or green" either?"

Well the fact that you stated that shows where you're at. Lonely, bigoted sausage. Have fun with your closeted "tribe" - we won't tell.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:06 PM

thanks for missing the point, which is: most people who claim gay friends as proof of their open-mindedness are anything but.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:08 PM

@3:45

Hipsters are actually more homophobic (as well as racist and sexist) than the people they put down. Many of them come from small towns which are hotbeds of such sentiments.

I can definitely vouch for their racism -- and I'm not even the type to play the "race card" because it looks bitchmade and weak. I can respect a person who is full on NS or white power and makes no bones about it, because I know exactly who I'm dealing with. I can respect a person for simply being real -- even if I don't like them. I can't say the same for the garden variety hipster.

The "hipstercrite" is a patronizing fashionably leftist douche who will kiss your ass when in your presence (often out of fear), but then turn around and spout racist shit behind your back.

There are times when I've been kicking it with non-racist Skinheads, and some hipster (not knowing the skins are friends of mine) will kiss up to them thinking the skins are Nazis. When my friends reveal to the ironic douche that they are not racist and that "n*gger" is not only a close friend, but a skinhead himself, the hipster fuck is at a loss for words. At that point he either vacates the premises or goes to the other side of the bar and making it a point to avoid us.

The metal scene (or sub-scenes) may have their faults, but at least the people involved share a genuine love for the music and the ideologies/politics/culture that are a part of that scene.

These people support their favorite bands because they genuinely love their music -- not because it impresses their friends or makes them look "cool" in the eyes of the clueless. In short, they are sincere.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:11 PM

^ sausage logic. it's like jumbo shrimp, only without the hint of humor or insight.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:15 PM

4:04 #2 speaks the truth. Sausage rock is a provincial art form for country folk.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:17 PM

^
@4:15

You know I'm right. Perhaps the words were too big for you considering you probably struggle with the "how to make a latte" instructions at your barista job.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:20 PM

@4:17

Wow. Actual irony. A hipster calling something "provincial". Keep in mind, one small area of the city you NOW call home is bigger than the redneck cowpatch that you hail from.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:23 PM

4:23 yeah, whatever. I'm sure all the sloppy hillbilly bands BBG throws up on this site are urbane city dwellers. Puh-leez.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:25 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IS9CxukkFc&feature=fvst


THIS is what you weirdos are so earnestly defending? hahahah....you're out of your minds.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:28 PM

@4:25

I don't know much about the bands he throws up on here, but he has posted a few that I like (Autopsy being one of them). Old school death metal is far from provincial or "hillbilly". Autopsy is from the Bay Area - a far cry from the hicktowns most hipsters (hillbillies in denial) hail from.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:36 PM

4:28 ha ,what is that shit and what are the sausages thinking about? On a beautiful day like today this is what you roll to? You really are some disturbed fucks.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:43 PM

@4:28

How disingenuous of you. You find a weak track of theirs as an example of their output.

I prefer this track:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6f0jCEXDbY

They're leaps and bounds better than tuneless indie rock garbage you PRETEND to enjoy. You know you're bumping Justin Bieber.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:44 PM

^hahahaha


It's equally terrible. What's wrong with you freaks. I imagine this is what kids who shoot up their high schools listen to.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:47 PM

Well said, 4:11. These hipsters think they can dish it out like "badasses" or something, but they sure as hell can't take it back, eh? However, they CAN take it "back", literally if you know what I mean, eh? LOL!

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:50 PM

I'm not sure the sausages are homos, they probably fuck goats or something. You have to be a little disturbed to choose this lifestyle for yourself.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 4:51 PM

@4:51

Yawn, another failed attempt at wit.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 5:00 PM

Hey guys! Let's go see a Tennis gig instead! Yeah, it'll be fun.

Hey hey hey, guys guys guys. Get this, Get this, Get this...... you ready?..... "Set" bwahahahahaha! sausage (*snort) teeheehee!

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 5:11 PM

@5:11

LOL!

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 5:21 PM

Oh, I guess that sausage twat for brains had to deliver that large double pepperoni to Jamaica Plains. Put that thing down and get my pie out here, boy - you have 8 minutes until I get it for free.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 6:30 PM

Herein is sausage logic - anyone who does not like horrid music like Autopsy or All Pigs Must Die, or anyone who calls them "sausage", or anyone who disagrees with them must be a hipster. And since they have amazing powers of perception they can just tell that "Anonymous" means that those in disagreement are from some small town west of the Hudson River.

Shine the bright light on that bullshit, baby. No one chooses to be a sausage unless you have some deep unresolved daddy and/or mommy issues. Sausages don't realize that the curse of hatred is that you become the thing you hate, because you really hate yourself.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 6:36 PM

^Exactly. It's like they act like BBG doesn't post the pictures here on the reg. We've seen your scene and it's not pretty.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 6:41 PM

A sausage is a type of meat, not a person. Proper english apparently doesn't apply to you dummies.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 6:43 PM

6:36
>Accuses sausages of making generalizations
>Makes generalizations about sausages

I see.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 7:05 PM

6:41 - Maybe you're not all hipsters - would you even admit it if you were? - but you are all so incredibly shallow (or have the wit of a six year old) to continue this fixation on how FAT and UGLY these metal bands and their fans look (although, if you'd ever been to a show, you'd see that the majority of them just look plain average).
I don't know how you kids even ride the subway. You must hold all those ugly, fat people who don't give nearly as many fucks as you do about looking fashionable in such contempt. This world you want to live in where everyone looks the same and likes the same things or else they're losers sounds pathetic.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 7:16 PM

Great comments guys.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 8:11 PM

I think 6:43 is my favorite. Lulz...

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 8:17 PM

@6:36

They are called hipsters because they display the characteristics of a hipster.

Hipsters (at least those who've made comments) should never speak on logic since they show very little capability of understanding such.

It's not the hipster's clothes or music that causes people to hate them. It's their condescending attitudes, "try too hard" pretentiousness, highly unwarranted self-importance and general douchebaggery. The work so hard to cover up the fact that they are as mundane as the flyover country backwater they hail from.

I know plenty of people who bump indie rock and are artists, but they're not "hipsters". They're too sincere about their art and music and are actually decent human beings.

Posted by IRobbedAHipsterOfHisIphoneAndPawnedItForWeedMoney | March 14, 2012 9:12 PM

Hipsters are wack. That's some '06 shit. We roll Jacuzzzi Boy these days. Northside Jacuzzi Boyz son, all day erryday.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 9:28 PM

@9:28

U know how we do it!

Posted by FRANKENWIGGER | March 14, 2012 9:50 PM

I agree that hipsters are human dildos. But sausages are bigger dildos. It's the straight up truth - you guys are fucking pathetic.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 11:28 PM

Hey, how many sausages does it take to cross the road? It takes 3 - one to buy beer, one to actually walk across the street, and one to post on BV just how much phantom "hipsters" were assholes because the first and third are now stuck on the original side of the road and can't figure out how to join their sausage friend, and obviously hipsters changed the street signs before they could cross.

Posted by Imma Sausage an I can spel. | March 14, 2012 11:36 PM

Jacuzzzi Boyz >>>>>> sausages

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 11:44 PM

@11:28

"Sausages" as a subculture do not exist. In fact neither they, nor the term to describe them exist anywhere except in the minds of hipster douchelords (who are quick to deny they're hipsters). You gave yourself away.

Posted by YouLosersAreSoTransparent | March 14, 2012 11:45 PM

^ and yet the sausage responds when called a sausage.

kinda like in school when the cool kid would go "hey, pussface" and you would turn around.

once a fuckwad, always a fuckwad. a sausage fuckwad.

Posted by Anonymous | March 14, 2012 11:53 PM

@11:35

Wack. It's a shame too since you obviously pushed that substandard brain to its absolute cognitive limit to come up with such a gem.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:03 AM

12:03 - If an anonymous douchebag like you dismisses my tome, I know it hit the mark. Thanks for that.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:06 AM

I just got in from walking my dog, and he took this smelly dump that looked like, you guessed it, sausage. So, now we know ... sausage = dog shit.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:08 AM

@11:53

Lame. I thought you ironic douchelords were intelligent, creative and witty. I mean that's how you losers so desperately try to present yourselves. Allow me give you a basic reading comprehension lesson since you struggled throughout high school and dropped out of your liberal arts program because it was too challenging:

Making a statement about some cornball's usage of a term does not constitute "responding to ___ when called ____ . . ."

Is it a wonder you morons are destined to either work minimum wage jobs as baristas in your late 30s or ending up as 40-something losers living at home with your parents (while you peddle your "art")? But hey, someone has to make my coffee when I'm studying (you know, what people do when they're pursing a REAL area of study).

Posted by YouLosersAreSoTransparent | March 15, 2012 12:16 AM

@12:06

In your dreams dork. Typical hipster douchetard trying to come off more intelligent than he actually is and failing miserably. LOL!

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:20 AM

@12:08

Bullshit, you know you spent the last 45 minutes, combing that brain of yours trying come up with that dullardry you posted. L-O-S-E-R!

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:24 AM

^ Ha ha ha you are such a moron, and so full of yourself. You are insulting someone that doesn't exist. You think that you're talking to me, but you are so deluded (probably from all that big dick you've been taking up your ass) that every characterization that you throw is completely off base. So, definitely keep up the straw man and hate your Emmanuel Goldstein, you silly sausage. You, on the other hand, if you are in any of those sausage pictures (such as the one from All Pigs Must Die) than I have a pretty fucking clear idea what you look like, what you are about, and how much time you've put into "study" (nigga, please!). You should definitely keep posting, keep insulting this image you've created, and keep the anger up pimple boy - I continue to laugh at every new post.

Posted by Sausage Fucks Can Eat Shit And Die | March 15, 2012 12:24 AM

O sausage culture, I know I am baiting you, but you make it too easy. Sausages, you are no good with the beauty or the music, you should a stay in your lane and learn the plumbing.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:25 AM

S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E S A U S A G E

S A U S A G E !

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:28 AM

dogshit = sausage

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:29 AM

go home metal dorks

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:33 AM

Go shoot up Columbine sausage creeps :(

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:37 AM

@12:24

Oh shit! Hipster meltdown! LOL! Yeah. Right. Ok. "You're insulting someone who doesn't exist!" I swear, just when I thought you flyover country fucktarded losers couldn't get any more lame, you prove me wrong.

I have a strong idea of what you look like, and I'm sure I hit very close to the mark, if not a bullseye or two. If you've seen one hipster douchetard, you've literally seen them all.

Oh, and please don't use the term "nigga" -- especially when you know your whitebread cornball ass would never say that in the presence of someone black.

You're as transparent as they come. Do try again.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:44 AM

12:28 & 12:29 = IQ of a retarded 5th grader. Shortbus intellectual giants.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:46 AM

Uh oh, sausage is quiet .... I can spell the rubber burning .... it's hard work to be so angry all the time .... but I can't let me facade down, can't let on that the sausage .... likes ... little boys.

You sick fuck. Children? Really?

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:47 AM

Uh oh, sausage is quiet .... I can smell the rubber burning .... it's hard work to be so angry all the time .... but I can't let me facade down, can't let on that the sausage .... likes ... little boys.

You sick fuck. Children? Really?

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:48 AM

@12:48

Damn. Brain damage from prolonged cocaine use? Or just plain stupidity? You hiptards are failing hard tonight. Grasping at straws. Desperate you are. You were kvetching so hard you posted evidence of your retardation twice.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:51 AM

Apparently sausage like being poor?

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:52 AM

@12:48

What's with the children bit? Having flashbacks from the days your weird, sisterfucking hick uncle would pay you late night visits? Seek help.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:53 AM

How about you get a neck tattoo hillbilly sausages? See how that plays out on the job market...

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 1:00 AM

sausages are disgusting

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 1:19 AM

letz end all the fake hipster, transplant hate, right here and now. yo straight up northside jacuzzzi boyz make it and the rest of you schlep rocks buy it. it's just that simple sausages. peep game.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 1:32 AM

N. side Jacuzzzzi Boyz today = Decepticons in the '80s

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 2:00 AM

You sausages never change ..... 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag ... and friends with faggots

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 9:28 AM

^ is this brat referencing the RETOX song?

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 9:42 AM

"They are called hipsters because they display the characteristics of a hipster.

Hipsters (at least those who've made comments) should never speak on logic since they show very little capability of understanding such.

It's not the hipster's clothes or music that causes people to hate them. It's their condescending attitudes, "try too hard" pretentiousness, highly unwarranted self-importance and general douchebaggery. The work so hard to cover up the fact that they are as mundane as the flyover country backwater they hail from.

I know plenty of people who bump indie rock and are artists, but they're not "hipsters". They're too sincere about their art and music and are actually decent human beings."


Holy shit, this post should be bolded, magnified, underlined, and stickied everywhere. ESPECIALLY the 3rd paragraph. Couldn't agree more. Hipster is more of an attitude thing than an image (at least the physical image).

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 9:58 AM

"condescending attitudes, "try too hard" pretentiousness, highly unwarranted self-importance and general douchebaggery. The work so hard to cover up the fact that they are as mundane as the flyover country backwater they hail from."

Pot, meet Kettle

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 11:27 AM

Sausages have always lacked any aspect of self-awareness and self-actualization. By definition, actually. As a result, any conclusion or observation that they may share are fraught with error at a foundational level.

It really is hard to keep a straight face writing this, imagining the systematic confusion coming across the sausage's consciousness at it's reading. "Norman, please correlate ..."

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 11:31 AM

^ agreed. delivering pizzas is not self-actualization in any universe of possibilities.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 11:50 AM

"It really is hard to keep a straight face writing this."


Probably because you can't keep a straight face with your mouth open, eh? Eh?

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:31 PM

^ who said my mouth is open, hillbilly boy?

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:40 PM

^ Considering it's the hipsters that are from the countryside (uh-hyuck!) I'd say your mind is also backwards. And your mouth ain't open from chewing tobacco!

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 12:55 PM

sausages are great. they're worried about my condescending attitude. I got news for you slob...yes I look down on you. Try doing something that is worthy of notice. But your shitty music, clothes and xenophobia warrants no respect. Don't like? Too bad. You can like the floor to ceiling windows of my Williamsburg condo.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 1:10 PM

Looking at pictures from all the sausage shows that BBG posts on here, one cannot but look down on the evolutionarily-challanged cousins. Even the lower primates laugh at them for their silly knees bent, running about, advancing behavior. I fart in your general direction, you sons of a pizza delivery man.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 2:12 PM

To the 2 posters above, a courtesy reminder: Make sure to take your AZT at 3:00. You wouldn't want to miss it now, would you?

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 2:22 PM

I like broke fat guys.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 2:23 PM

2:22 = must ... find ... the precious

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 3:18 PM

"But your shitty music, clothes and xenophobia warrants no respect."

Do you even know what xenophobia is? You might want to look it up between all the equally judgmental shit you lot are posting like the implied homophobia (oh, a male-dominated scene, that must mean they want to secretly fuck each other, and it's funny to make fun of that!!) and general classist snobbery.

(And I'm not even defending the equally dumb assertions that all hipsters are from flyover country, or that that's necessarily a bad thing.)

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 4:40 PM

^ 4:40 is from flyover country

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 5:43 PM

John Wayne was a fag.

The hell he was.

He was, too, you boys. I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood, and he come to the door in a dress.

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 5:51 PM

Anyone else notice this?
>> sausages go radio silent from 5:00-8:00 PM (+/- 30 min) every day
>> prime time pizza delivery window is 5:00-8:00 PM every day

Coincidence? I think not!

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 6:19 PM

5:51 ftw

Posted by a hipster and sausage hater who likes hipster and sausage music | March 15, 2012 6:29 PM

why don't you guys do something else?

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 6:58 PM

6:58 seems cool. I want to do what 6:58 is doing. Wait, I am ... and so is everyone else posting here.

What's your point, 6:58?

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 7:09 PM

y'all need to have a Bushmills and chill out

Bushmills - Shared Among Friends

Posted by Anonymous | March 15, 2012 11:20 PM

Sausages check out deoderant. It does a body.good.

Posted by Anonymous | March 16, 2012 12:13 AM

To the 2 posters above, a courtesy reminder: Make sure to take your AZT at 3:00. You wouldn't want to miss it now, would you?

Posted by souq | March 22, 2012 4:09 AM

I love autopsy but I think I love this thread more

Posted by Anonymous | April 16, 2012 7:34 PM

pretty much the best thread ever.

Posted by Anonymous | May 9, 2012 3:20 AM

Classic

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 2:37 AM

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