Posted in NYC | music | venues on November 21, 2012

Jackie's 5th Amendment (photo via Here's Park Slope)
Jackie's 5th Amendment

That East Williamsburg petition has started a trend:

WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:
Allow the bar Jackie's 5th Amendment to secede from the neighborhood of Park Slope in Brooklyn, NY.

Due to the changing nature of the neighborhood and the fact that we are beginning to take offense when potential customers come into the bar, look around them with disdain, and leave, immediately, we the people of Jackie's 5th Amendment at 404 5th Avenue request the permission of the United States Government to peacefully secede from Park Slope and become our own neighborhood, to be tentatively known as "Brooklyn".

They only need 24,972 more signatures. Not too bad.

DNA Info points out:

Jackie's is one of the few remaining dive bars in the neighborhood, and drinkers who wander in looking for high-priced artisanal cocktails poured by "mixologists" will be disappointed. The bar's specialty is a $10 ice-filled bucket of six "ponies," or 7-ounce domestic beers.

"The neighborhood is changing," [bartender Rebecca McCarthy who started the petition] said. "People walk in and they're like, 'Oh no, not this.' We don't even have vermouth. We couldn't make martinis if we tried."

They should get in touch with the Old Carriage Inn on 7th and make it a movement!

For further reading, check out an interview with Linda the bartender at Here's Park Slope.

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Comments (64)

great place if you're an alcoholic and need a stiff one at 8am. they've got you covered.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:26 PM

Yawn. The whole "OOOH LOOK AT ME, I STAND IN GRITTY DEFIANCE OF NEW PARK SLOPE, YOU CAN'T KEEP ME DOWN!!!" schtick is 100% as annoying as park slope itself.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:35 PM

and Park Slope continues to suck

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:45 PM

People walk in and they're like, 'Oh no, not this.'

I think it is more like:

People walk in and they're like, 'Oh no, not this. Too much like my town in the midwest'

Thank you transplants for making NYC what it is today.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:46 PM

why are people acting as though this shift in park slope (or any other nice part of bk, for that matter) is so recent and suddenly untenable? this shit has been going on for years. are people just blind? in the case of jackie's, perhaps they are just drunk.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:49 PM

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:51 PM

shame that timboos closed.

i lived in the slope 8 years ago and my dad couldnt stand the bars in the area. i took him to jackie's and he's like: 'this'll work.'

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:54 PM

It might help if you replace the coors light sign with a pabst or rock neon. Do Hipsters or old drunks live in Park Slope?

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:55 PM

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:57 PM

besides having an overabundance of children and umbrella parents, what makes park slope so detestable, or in common parlance, "suck?"

these are serious questions.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 3:59 PM

3:59 - The attitude of said umbrella parents is a big part of it.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 4:17 PM

I've lived next to the spot that was Timboo's for 12 years. I love a good dive bar. That place was just a shit hole. I've had many a beer at Jackie's but frankly, I have no sympathy for drunks who are hammered at 7am while drinking away their disability check whining about the new crowd walking in, taking one look at their dump and turning around.

Jackie's is something of a depressing old drunk's institution. I find it sad and charming at once, but when it disappears, I'll miss it about as much as I miss chasing prostitutes out of my apartment building in the 90s, when they'd break in and use the stairwell for turning tricks. Oh remember the good old days?

I'm also calling bullshit on the bartender from Jackie's. There is not a shot in hell that yuppies of Park Slope are actually mistakingly walking into the 5th Amendment thinking it's spot they might want to get a drink at.

Even the quiet drunks of Jackie's need something to complain about.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 4:31 PM

I miss O'Connors :(

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 4:42 PM

I'll second missing O'Connors.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 4:51 PM

It's all about lucky 13

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 4:53 PM

I've lived with active alcoholics for years, and if they wanted to succeed from the family I know a few family members that would hold the door for them on the way out

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 4:55 PM

fuck park slope

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 5:05 PM

It's about time. I'm in.

Posted by I want my daddy's records | November 21, 2012 5:56 PM

I hope they do "succeed". We all want to "succeed"

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 6:15 PM

needing a stiff one @ 8am? Enough about your mom already 3:26

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 6:34 PM

"why are people acting as though this shift in park slope (or any other nice part of bk, for that matter) is so recent and suddenly untenable? this shit has been going on for years. are people just blind? in the case of jackie's, perhaps they are just drunk."

New Yorkers just aren't a witty lot, and this "joke" has been established, so it can be beaten to death forever.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 7:07 PM

well, i live in park slope and i like it just fine. never been to jackie's, but maybe that's b/c i have taste, standards, and i'm not a drunk. color me crazy!

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 7:15 PM

This shit is just silly. We're talking about a place that serves alcohol that says that it is better than a whole neighborhood.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 7:32 PM

Brooklyn sucks regardless, so who cares?

If u dont like what I'm sayin suck an artisanal turd outta my ass while I snort pharmaceutical grade cocaine off your mama's ballsack, ok? :)

Posted by ANAL FOZZLE | November 21, 2012 8:23 PM

Brooklyn is for losers who're too poor to live in Manhattan.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 8:47 PM

and Manhattan is for losers who are too poor to live in Westchester

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 9:15 PM

OH my God. Your a shitty dive bar! Shut the fuck up! Nothing should offend you. Just serve people drinks an shut up. Plus what would seceding from Park Slope do?!?!?! Unless you physically relocate the bar, guess what, YOUR STILL LOCATED IN PARK SLOPE!!!!!!! Dumbasses!!!

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 9:33 PM

yes, park slope sucks. Fuck park slope, please stay out.

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 10:02 PM

and Manhattan is for losers who are too lazy to commute to Westchester

FTFY

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 11:15 PM

nobody commutes *to* Westchester dumbass

Posted by Anonymous | November 21, 2012 11:38 PM

and Manhattan is for losers who like chain stores & fashion victims that build a life on martini bars

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 3:57 AM

4:31 said it all. Timboo's was a total shithole, indeed, and Jackie's is another shithole. I hope all of these "authentic" alcolholics' watering holes get gentrified out of business - they're bad for the neighborhood. We don't want you here. I don't need sixty year-old drunks puking on the sidewalk at ten in the morning while I'm pushing my stroller around. And yeah, I'm exactly the kind of condo-owning, stroller-pushing square d-bag that you hipsters love to hate. I don't care - fuck you. I make good money, own a home in a nice idyllic neighborhood, listen to good music, still get to shows with two toddlers, and I drink cocktails at mixologist bars. That's right, I'm everything you hate. I don't give a fuck. And like I said, Jackie's sucks, it can kiss my ass and leave my neighborhood if it doesn't like it. Good riddance.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 8:00 AM

^ Obviously a total troll post

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 10:18 AM

Yeah I'm a troll. Not even sure what that means in an anonymous forum of snarksters. I meant everything I said.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 10:29 AM

Ok, I don't like Jackie's much and I didn't like timboos either. But a good balance to any neighborhood is a little of both, your crap dive bars, and expensive places. I'm born and raised in Brooklyn, and that's the way I've known it. Yuppies, park slope parents, and hipsters, you guys need to relax, it isn't that serious.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 11:13 AM

Actually there are a ton of old, cheap dive bars in Manhattan, much more than in those gentrified Brooklyn neighborhoods.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 11:53 AM

regardless of whether or not it was a troll post, you still sound like a huge faggot, 8:00. Hopefully you can find some comfort in that.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 12:13 PM

let 'em. fuck 'em. let 'em.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 12:52 PM

I don't care what I sound like. Like I said, I could give a fuck about pathetic slack hipsters who bemoan gentrification. I just don't care about you. I own property and pay taxes. Chances are you do neither.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 12:56 PM

Milano's on Houston is pretty good.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 2:11 PM

This is a more lame city with each passing week.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 2:13 PM

Why are you idiots even responding to the idiot at 8 and 12:56. It is a troll. He is full of shit and trying to get you riled up and you are giving this loser exactly what he wants.

If you believe anything he wrote, then you are even dumber than him

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 2:26 PM

I ain't a troll. Meant everything I said. You fucking hypocrites complain about Midwestern transplants yet pine for "authentic" blue collar dive bars. You know where you can find lots o' those? That's right, the Midwest. Please move there, maybe the Midwesterners you love to look down on will buy your shitty art and go see one of the shitty five bands you play in so that you won't have to be a bitter retail store employee for the rest of your life. Seriously, fuck off. I voted for Obama but agree with half of what Romney had to say - specifically, 47 percent of what he said. Earn a fucking living you poseurs. You may be cooler, more "authentic" New Yorkers than me but I am whooping your ass at LIFE. I will take my uncool, stroller-toting nine-to-five Two Percenter existence over yours any day.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 3:41 PM

lol white people
lol park slope

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 4:23 PM

New York City is a hot steaming bowl of ass chowder.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 6:31 PM

The rich park sloper has an ego because they make money.
I really think your so cool and I really yearn to be you.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 7:35 PM

I'm not rich by any stretch. But I make a good enough living to buy a home in a sought-after neighborhood and vote with my pocketbook to rid my neighborhood of blight like Jackie's. And yeah I have an ego but do do you. The difference is that I have leverage; you got none, not even if you Occupy Jackie's.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 7:51 PM

You are a sad little dude, it's T-giving and you're arguing with 20-something trolls on bv lol

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 8:08 PM

He is sad because he is a troll. Again, if you believe this turd then you are even dumber than him. He probably is some loser who lives in a tiny one bedroom with bedbugs and this is how he gets his jollies.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 8:13 PM

Link Floyd ftw!

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 8:24 PM

LULZ at all the faggots posting vile shit on here about a business they have never been in that is in a neighborhood they could not afford to live in. SMH @ u little faggots.

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 10:39 PM

^ You clearly are at the head of that line pussy boy keyboard warrior

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 10:41 PM

You realize that being raised by someone like you both your kids are going to grow up to be exactly the kind of free-loading poseur hipsters you're railing against, right?

Posted by Anonymous | November 22, 2012 10:59 PM

What exactly is a "troll"?

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 8:55 AM

little dude, lives under a bridge

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 9:18 AM

ha ha haha direct hit on the faggot at 10:39/10:59

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 9:22 AM

Yeah "direct hit" - you call people faggots and he's the one who needs to be worried about what his kids will end up like? Go back under your rock you scuzzpunk.

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 9:34 AM

"besides having an overabundance of children and umbrella parents, what makes park slope so detestable, or in common parlance, "suck?"
I believe you nailed it.

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 1:49 PM

I believe that you are an ibicile 1:49. And still too lazy and stupid to be able to afford living in Park Slope, which you CLEEEEEEEARLY wish you could. Your dinky brain of sloth doth protest waaaaaaay toooooooo much.

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 1:55 PM

LULZ "scuzzpunk"
Dude, really, leave the name calling to people better able to actually use the language. You can just keep making that fucking latte, I have a bunch more shopping to do. C'mon funny boy, LATTE! STAT!

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 1:58 PM

Bring back Dyke Slope!!

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 2:13 PM

Bring back the Tea Lounge on 7th

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 2:26 PM

Sorry 1:58, I don't serve lattes to bike messengers.

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 2:39 PM

^ You sure as hell know how to use that F5 key real good there, huh Jeb?

Posted by Anonymous | November 23, 2012 8:47 PM

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