Posted in music on August 23, 2013

Dan Auerbach, no longer the owner of Dylan's hair (more by Dana (distortion) Yavin)
Dan Auerbach

Black Keys singer/record producer Dan Auerbach had been going through a divorce with Stephanie Gonis, and TMZ reports that his wife has obtained a pretty interesting piece of their assets...

Here comes the story of Bob Dylan's hair ... which apparently belongs to the ex-wife of Black Keys singer Dan Auerbach. Seriously (according to court docs obtained by TMZ).

We've learned ... Auerbach's extremely bitter divorce with Stephanie Gonis was finalized this week in Tennessee ... after the warring couple came to terms on splitting up their assets.

First, the money: She gets more than $5 million. Plus, she gets the couple's 2012 Toyota Highlander and one of the family homes.

But who cares, because the real story here is BOB DYLAN'S HAIR.

According to the divorce docs, the couple owns an asset described as "Bob Dylan Hair."

It's unclear how the hair was obtained ... when it was obtained ... if the hair contains any product ... etc. -- but the point is, Dan agreed to part ways with it in the divorce.

Jack White's divorce has also taken a bad turn (though nothing to do with celebrity body parts), and in emails sent to ex-wife Karen Elson, he revealed some hard feelings about the other singer/guitarist-of-blues-rock-duo-whose-name-has-a-color-in-it (namely, their kids being enrolled in the same Nashville school):
My concern with Auerbach is because I don't want the kids involved in any of that crap ... That's a possible twelve f***ing years I'm going to have to be sitting in kids chairs next to that a**hole with other people trying to lump us in together.
Meanwhile, Jack's label, Third Man Records, just released a live King Tuff album, and there's a live Melvins LP due out September 10. You can stream "Just Strut" from the King Tuff LP, below.

To take this all full circle, a recording recently surfaced of Jack White and Bob Dylan performing The White Stripes' "Ball and Biscuit" back in 2004. Listen below...

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Bob Dylan and Jack White - "Ball and Biscuit"

King Tuff - "Just Strut" Live at Third Man Records

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Comments (34)

Great, she can extract the DNA from Dylan's hair, clone him and have a "Dylan orgy" with all of her cougar friends.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 11:28 AM

Not even I saw this one coming and I've got a Women's Studies MS from Weseleyen


-Max

Posted by Max Horwich | August 23, 2013 11:30 AM

11:28 is right on - this woman is a terrible human being as anyone who has had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting her will tell you. Great role model for her kids.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 11:31 AM

That B&B collab was the pinnacle of that whole moment in rock music. A wonderful moment.

...and it's all been depressing shit ever since.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 11:38 AM

"unfortunate pleasure"-- kind of a contradictory phrase, but a pretty good band name.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 11:50 AM

pffttt....I've got some of frohwak's pubes.

Posted by Max Horwich | August 23, 2013 12:00 PM

I've heard Dan Auerbach is kind of a douch-bag.
I guess his wife is also. Takes one to know one!

I dont feel sorry for anyone that has over $5 million!

Posted by spikenyc | August 23, 2013 12:32 PM

How the fuck could the Black Keys generate that kind of money? That is way more disturbing than NSA spy tactics.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 12:41 PM

enroll your kid in a different school, you ass. such a simple problem for someone with money.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 12:55 PM

@12:41

Headlining just about every major music festival the last two-three years, plus various nominations, and decent record sales... That's how dipshit.

Posted by Max Horwich | August 23, 2013 12:59 PM

First world problems...poor Dan and Jack.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 1:12 PM

Also, the only cover-up bigger than the NSA is the ability of the Jack White cult to try to cover up his insanity. He's a great artist but he's a looney toon. He doesn't live in the same reality as most people and it would help if he had people around him who brought him back to Earth but that's how it is with artists, especially stinkin' rich ones.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 2:08 PM

5 Million? But Grizzly Bear said...!

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 2:13 PM

I'm pretty sure if Jack White wanted some of Bob Dylan's hair, he could just ask him for it. Just sayin'

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 3:46 PM

ego trippin'

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 4:20 PM

12:59 failed to explain how they managed to do those things by being the most mediocre band on earth... even wilco is better than them.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 5:25 PM

$5 million? They should take all their earnings and fly over the Mississippi Delta and dump it out over the juke joints where these buttfucks are ripping off those artists.

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 5:47 PM

12:41 are you from another planet? Black Keys are fucking MASSIVE!

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 7:43 PM

Also, as lame as this TMZ bullshit is, Jack actually has a point about the 12 Year thing.. He understands the way the media works far better than the millions of retards who get sucked into it every 3 seconds.

like, now we're giving a fuck about someone's dead hair. Thanks TMZzzzzzzZzZZzzz....

Posted by Anonymous | August 23, 2013 7:48 PM

Don't get married, ever. A very bad contract.

Posted by Anonymous | August 24, 2013 12:04 AM

Why would anyone want a highlander?

Posted by Anonymous | August 24, 2013 12:32 AM

Its only 5 million dollars, whatever.

Posted by Anonymous | August 24, 2013 12:34 AM

Also, my original post was "why would anyone want a t oyota highlander". BV fucking censored that shit. Fuck You Brooklyn Vegan. You suck

Posted by Anonymous | August 24, 2013 12:42 AM

Hey man... this is the USA.. no brand names allowed!

Posted by Anonymous | August 24, 2013 2:54 AM

Jack White sounds like a faggot drama queen.

Posted by Anonymous | August 24, 2013 3:23 PM

I have a jar of Hendrix puke.

Posted by Anonymous | August 24, 2013 6:04 PM

If you post your address- you can also have a jar of my puke.

Posted by Anonymous | August 24, 2013 8:01 PM

Your like my dads age! He can't dance at all he just bobs his head up and down

Posted by Moore | February 6, 2014 10:58 AM

I love black keys.

Posted by chris | February 11, 2014 7:52 PM

i agree in managed to do those things by being the most mediocre band on earth... Thanks for sharing!

Posted by massagem curitiba | April 10, 2014 3:40 PM

Good to see that a lot of people are listening to good music nowadays. Good music has to be spread!

Posted by Alan | May 10, 2014 9:23 AM

This was Dan's solo album after the black keys took a break for a little bit. Obviously he didn't play all of the instruments, but Patrick Carney was not involved with the creation of this album.

Posted by Danielle | May 26, 2014 12:05 PM

pinnacle of that whole moment in rock music. A wonderful moment.

Posted by imoveis | July 25, 2014 11:28 PM

you might have noticed that not a single title amongst my uploads is spelled exactly the same way as the original song title... blame it on the sheb weriff! Still, thanks for commenting ;)

Posted by Drew | October 15, 2014 4:45 AM

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