Posted in movies on April 29, 2014

Someone get R2 out of that crate!
IMAGE

As you probably know, JJ Abrams is helming the new Star Wars sequel -- Episode VII, set 30 years after Return of the Jedi -- and there have been a lot of rumors as to who's going to be in it, old and new. StarWars.com just dropped a photon torpedo in the form of the above picture, which is a cast table read of the script. (The excitement crashed the site for a while.) Featured in the new film will be most of the original trilogy's cast, including Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), Anthony Daniels (C-3PO), and Kenny Baker (R2-D2).

As for new castmembers, it includes Oscar Isaac (Inside Llewyn Davis), Adam Driver (Adam on HBO's Girls), and John Boyega (Attack the Block), as well as veteran actor Max von Sydow, Domnhall Gleeson (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), British actress Daisy Ridley, and professional green screen actor Andy Serkis (he was Gollum and King Kong). Filming starts this week at London's legendary Pinewood Studios (where much of the first three films were shot). The screenplay was co-written by Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan (who co-wrote The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi). It certainly sounds promising, right?

Star Wars: Episode VII, with a presumably longer title than that, will be out December 18, 2015.

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Comments (105)

I may not lose my boner for a week after this news

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 1:52 PM

i have a girl boner like a purple sightsaber, llewyn davis...

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 1:53 PM

John Williams is confirmed to return and score the movie... if you wanted to somehow relate this to music.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 1:56 PM

Adam Driver ruins everything with his muskrat head.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:00 PM

lena dunham will be brought in as a female gamorrean guard

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:02 PM

Wow this cast sucks where is jar jar binks and harrison ford? Awful

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:02 PM

Tune Yards is to make an appearance as an ewok

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:03 PM

And techs/workers at Pinewood are being offered crazy amounts of money to get the script and leak it

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:05 PM

Donald Sterling for a jedi

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:13 PM

I thought they were going to cast Meth Damon?

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:16 PM

Where the fuck is Billy Dee Williams?

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:16 PM

Cool maybe the writers will write themselves into getting into Iowa Writers' Workshop at the end too.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:26 PM

Lando died blowing up the 2nd Death Star. Suprised you didn't know that.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:29 PM

Yeah dumb ass Lando dead.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:36 PM

"lena dunham will be brought in as a female gamorrean guard"

i LOL'd

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:41 PM

han and leia's son looks a lot like lando

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:42 PM

^ So did I.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:42 PM

2:29, 2:36- You are both joking, right?

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:44 PM

Damn, I am late to the party. I so wanted to make the first Lena Dunham joke. It was going to be something like the part of Chewbaccca will be played by her crotch....well you get the idea.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:44 PM

2:44, you're joking right? Lando is dead.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:50 PM

No George Lucas involvement?

I'm excited!

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:51 PM

If you get super stoned and say "Lando" over and over, it'll start to freak you out.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:55 PM

Yes, Lando died in Return of The Jedi you dumb fucks.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 2:59 PM

Am I missing something? Lando didn't die.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:03 PM

What movie have you been watching all these years? He doesn't make it out of the Death Star.

Dead. Lando is dead.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:05 PM

Was hoping The iPods would score the film. Now there's a band with real diversity from track to track.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:20 PM

Just re-watched ROtJ. Lando is not at the dance party at the end. He and Ninenub both died trying to escape the Death Star. Sad.

Posted by E.L. Fudge | April 29, 2014 3:21 PM

Childish Gambino should play Lando and Leia's secret lovechild

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:24 PM

According to Wookieepedia (yes, this exists!), Lando made it out of the Death Star and went on to have a long life in the post ROtJ storylines.

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lando_Calrissian

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:27 PM

I've just bought a gun to shoot myself before this movie comes out

This is going to be a travesty of all things holy and sacred

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:27 PM

Celebrate the love

Posted by yub nub! | April 29, 2014 3:28 PM

I'm wondering if Han Solo will demand an extra 2 million if the film makers want him to kiss 2014 era carry fisher

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:33 PM

Don't believe everything you read 3:27

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:38 PM

It would be awesome if Luke turns to the dark side and kills Han Solo and Princess Leia

Then they have a light saber fight between mark hammel and yoda
At the end

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:42 PM

Isn't Billy Dee Williams dead IRL?

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:42 PM

So many people are confused here. Lando dies just as the Death Star explodes. Either you've been watching some alternate cut or you partied too hard in college.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:45 PM

Lol 3:53 was so mad he wrote his comment from his iphone

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 3:57 PM

Anyone who thinks Lando died is a fucking dimwit. From IMDb:

In no released version of the script does Lando die (nor in "The Annotated Screenplays"), and both writer Lawrence Kasdan and actor Billy Dee Williams have dismissed this rumour. The IGN review of the Star Wars Trilogy box set is incorrect in saying that Lando originally didn't make it out in time when the second Death Star exploded.

More info here:

http://www.starwarz.com/tbone/the-millennium-falcons-and-landos-demise/

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:00 PM

Wrong. The IGN review of the Star Wars trilogy box set is actually considered canon.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:02 PM

'Attack The Block'

Posted by get it right | April 29, 2014 4:05 PM

4:02 shot jizz from his canon when he saw the new cast.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:11 PM

ALLOW IT.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:27 PM

^ Case Closed

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:32 PM

EVERYBODY SHUTUP

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:38 PM

dueling douche's - no lando, no star wars

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:39 PM

No Henry Rollins, no Star Wars. Sorry.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:48 PM

Dying in the first 10 minutes ain't no job for a man

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:53 PM

I'm not the only one who searches for Mr. Foot Fetish's posts, am I? Is this cute city stuff?

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 4:54 PM

hype>stars wars

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 5:01 PM

theyre obviously going to wait til the 2nd episode to re-intro Lando... they have to have a LITTLE mystery here.. DUH!

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 5:04 PM

tom cruise rumored to be c3po's love interest

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 5:10 PM

@ 4 that imdb link is wrong, everyone knows lando died in Empire Strikes Back, jesus get your facts straight.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 5:18 PM

It's long been a mystery whether or not Lando died after destroying the second death star, but the news that he's not in episode VII seems to confirm that he is dead, unfortunately. RIP Lando.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 5:27 PM

@5:32, it could be a rebuilt millennium falcon in the new one though. After all, they did rebuild the death star, so why not rebuild the falcon as a tribute to Lando.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 5:41 PM

Lando cant be dead. He was in the Lego movie.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 5:43 PM

I heard that John Boyega plays Jar Jar's grandson, Pit Pat!

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 6:30 PM

@5:18 Now that you've posted, everyone knows you're a fucking dimwit.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 6:40 PM

Apparently in this movie, it will be explained that The Force originates from the ingestion of chickpeas.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 6:58 PM

Ok all you dimwit fucking morons. Lando died when the deathstar blew. Common sense you dumb fuck tards. Even Billy Dee said he didn't make it out.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 7:02 PM

7:02 has a date with his Jedi Blu-ray tonight.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 7:13 PM

I agree with everyone that Lando died just like Darth and Jabba.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 7:19 PM

I saw Lando at Manouns. He is alive and well.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 7:34 PM

Lando most definitely died in the first movie.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 7:36 PM

They killed Lando off in the Phantom Menance

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 7:43 PM

Come on guys, Lando died when Krypton was destroyed, dumb fucks!

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 7:54 PM

Lando died when that alien came out fr

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 8:11 PM

Yoda died too

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 8:14 PM

Darth Vader killed him with his photon phazer

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 8:30 PM

Lando died?

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 8:48 PM

2:02 wins...haha

The ten year old in me so wants this to be good but not holding my breath.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 9:17 PM

Lando choked on a stale pita triangle at the party scene, which was his final demise.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 9:25 PM

Yes everyone lando died, also paul simon will be r2d2 and brickell will be jaba the hutt

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 9:44 PM

Lando died you numbskulls! Wow, the stupidity on this thread.

Also, I eat doodie.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 10:08 PM

Lando really did die, it happened when the last starfighter blew up.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 10:17 PM

Lando was killed off when Donald bought the deathstar and the clippers with a bag of ipods.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 10:25 PM

Lando was killed by a Colt 45. Pun intended.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 10:28 PM

Lando is the Star Wars Tupac.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 10:30 PM

Ok all you cunt tards, Lando did not die. Watch star trek again and see if you don't see him wearing those eye visors. Stupid asses!

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 10:32 PM

Lando was killed in that trash compactor scene.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 10:50 PM

I wish they would remake the original movies instead of making 3 more

I want to see Cary fisher in that thong prisoner outfit
In the Janna the hut scene

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:01 PM

Alright we get it Lando died when they froze his body in empire strikes back, as he said in snakes on a plane, "I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane."

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:16 PM

Lando ended up becoming rich by designing a rocket booster that is powered by grape soda.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:19 PM

Lando died when Neo took the red pill

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:23 PM

Dago Brah, high five! Take a knee, Coach is coming.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:24 PM

Lando has to be dead, how could he not freeze to death when he was stuffed into that tauntaun.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:25 PM

I read the script for Ep. VII. Ten minutes in Chewbacca unzips the wookie costume: It's Lando inside the whole time. That's why they aren't announcing Billy Dee. They want to preserve the surprise.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:30 PM

^ sucks at story telling, lando hates you!

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:34 PM

You twat eared bags of doo doo really need to start taking your B vitamins and getting proper sleep. Lando died when he was struck by lightening while playing a round with Carl during the thunderstorm.

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:35 PM

Lando died at the beginning of rocky 4
When he fought Ivan Drago in the expedition fight

Throw in da damn towel

Posted by Anonymous | April 29, 2014 11:59 PM

Does any one else see the enormous sweat stain going on under his left arm

I saw a clearer photo on another website

That poor girl next to him is about to get a good taste

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 12:12 AM

Harrison ford needs to buy some anti persperant

He's sweating profusely !

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 12:14 AM

the entire white race just popped a tiny white boner

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 12:51 AM

Darkies don't like Star Wars because outer space frightens them
Just like swimming and down hill skiing

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 3:28 AM

Lando murdered Vuffi Raa with a hunting knife, was acquitted but is now serving a long sentance in an Empirial jail for trying to steal back his jump drives he sold to support his Spice Melange habit. He's not dead, but we ain't hearing from him for a while.

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 8:21 AM

Lando died when he took the pill that Hannibal and Face gave him to ride the plane.

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 9:38 AM

Hope they find Spock!

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 1:31 PM

If Lando was white he would still be alive

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 2:45 PM

^ das right boyeee FTP

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 3:21 PM

Lando was beaten to death by joe Pesci and Robert senior in a restaurant in queens ny after Lando told him to go get his shine box

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 7:38 PM

OK! just heard from my contact in Hollywood, Andy Serkis is playing Yoda's no good drifter brother, Yodum

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 8:34 PM

Lando turned his back on Alderaan.

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 9:57 PM

can't believe they're getting andy milonakis to play lando calrissean!

Posted by Anonymous | April 30, 2014 10:14 PM

Since Lando died in that hang gliding accident

Token from South Park will replace him in this movie

Posted by Anonymous | May 1, 2014 7:56 AM

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