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Posted in dance on May 30, 2014
by Ian Chainey
Eternalism is a philosophy of time arguing that all points of time are real. Adherents to this ideology (i.e. stoners) will tell you 2000 didn't stop, it's always 2000 for those living in the present of 2000. It is with an eye on eternalism that we bring you the following collection of stories. You have entered. . .the Nu Twilight Zone.
First up, antichrist superstar Marilyn Manson has been cast on the upcoming season of the FX biker gang drama Sons of Anarchy. His character is named Ron Tully and is a white supremacist ruling his minions from a jail cell. If white supremacists pick their leaders based on paleness, Manson must be their king. Says Manson regarding the role, "Sons' has been such a big part of my life, as well as my father's, so I was determined to make him proud by being involved in what will probably be remembered as the most amazing piece of television cinema. After all, the very heart of 'SOA' is about that relationship. So, now all I need is a motorcycle." Making dad proud by going to jail. Keep doing it your way, Brian Warner. Sons of Anarchy's ultimate season starts airing in September.
Say what you will about Manson's music, at least he survived the era without making a total doofus of himself. Same can't be said for Limp Bizkit who are back on the troll-path. They've announced "Endless Slaughter," the new single from Stampede of the Disco Elephants -- like we could expect poet laureate ish from a band known to name albums Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water -- will be released initially as a cassette. Oh snaps, take that boutique noise, indie and black metal labels. I bet today is now just one of those days when you don't wanna wake up. The "experience" is to be sold at Limp's upcoming live shows. "Experience." In 30 years there's going to be a Limp Bizkit laser show. Bet on it.
Godsmack are naming their new album 1000 Horsepower. Said Wyatt, "THAT'S A LOT OF HORSES!" It's not known if Luck's David Milch will film Godsmack's first video. It's also not known if you can go back in time and delete your Godsmack-borrowing senior quote.
Korn's Jonathan Davis is miffed at Revolver for not including him in the stylized cover honoring participants at this year's Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival tour. The art does include the bruised and bloodied visages of Mushroomhead and Body Count, among others. (Also, Cannibal Corpse. Just saying. Fair and balanced.) The scat man sorta sub-tweeted his displeasure on Thursday. He then jumped in his shower that sprays solely $100 bills. Life is hard.
Finally, Sublime With Rome -- which is not the shittiest remake of Roman Holiday ever, but a cover-heavy collaboration between Sublime's Eric Wilson and singer Rome Ramirez -- called foul on Linkin Park for calling authorities on their weedy ways. Sublime With Rome -- which is not sports talk radio Jim Rome's karaoke name -- were allegedly sparking up at KFMA Day 2014 in Tuscon, Arizona. Then the man came and took all their weed, man. Rome Ramirez sent the following flurry of tweets:
Linkin Park called the cops on us and said that they were allergic to pot. cops came and took all our weed while we on stage. Bitch shit. That just happened lol #snitches #bitchmove. Linkin nark.Linkin Park's Mike Shinoda, along with other band members, denied being involved. Turns out, Linkin Park's security detail are the finger-pointers, because an unnamed band member is actually allergic to "marijuana smoke." In the end, I guess it doesn't even matter.
In related news, Linkin Park have mentioned they're crafting their next album in the spirit of Meshuggah and Botch. Hmmmm...
Find the full statement regarding Linkin Park's pot-smoking fiasco below. Have a great weekend.