Posted in metal | music on July 8, 2014

Kirk Windstein of Crowbar holding VISIBLE oranges
Visible Oranges

As you know, "The term 'invisible oranges' describes the clutching gesture you make when the mighty force of metal flows through you." Invisible Oranges is also, not coincedentally, the name of our Cosmo Lee-founded blog dedicated to heavy metal... which is not to be confused with the new Tumblr 'Oranges and Metal', which is dedicated to making the oranges visible! Head there now for more pictures like the one we borrowed above!

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Comments (115)

MELVINS!

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 6:42 PM

I just did a victory lap on my boyfriend's cock! How are you celebrating 7:28?

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 7:40 PM

You scarves are the worst!

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 7:44 PM

There is no "I" in VICTORY!

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 7:56 PM

Saugages officially have reached Brasil status.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:00 PM

lol@7:56/8:00 You were so concerned that your "joke" wouldn't appear that you had to post it twice. Twice? And it didn't get any funnier. JOKE SKOOL 4U!

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:08 PM

loser scarves can only hope to be as cool at that guy above!

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:23 PM

^at least I'm not desperately posting the same "joke" twice. "Oh please approve my joke. Oh please." Now take a lap, fat ass!

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:25 PM

Wait. Are you talking to me or him? smdh.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:26 PM

^lol@you

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:27 PM

Fact:Mr. FootFetish is more of a talent than the guy who who calls everyone "Buckeye Shrimper."

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:29 PM

lol@Buckeye Shrimper. MrFootFetish is a hack.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:31 PM

Schizo loser? There's like 3 million of us posting here! Now who's the loser?

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:36 PM

smh@8:34

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:36 PM

Guys, isn't 8:34 a total lamo?

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:37 PM

V I C T O R Y O V E R 8:34! Go home to Buckeye.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:38 PM

8:34 looks for friends in an anonymous comment section. *tear*

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:39 PM

I wipe my ass with scarves while listening to Melvins and eating steak.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:39 PM

#prayforbuckeye

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:40 PM

8:34 swallows and then immediately tries to kiss you.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:41 PM

#prayforbuckeye

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:43 PM

8:34 swears he can tell the flavor of a rocket pop by sitting on it.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:45 PM

8:34 pees sitting down with his pants up
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:49 PM

8:34 makes eye-contact with the other dude in a FMM threesome.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTrol

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:52 PM

8:34 farts in the tub and then bites the bubbles.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:54 PM

8:34 kisses his father good-night on the lips.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:55 PM

8:34 is saving himself for marriage.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:56 PM

8:34 takes the bus and packs a lunch everyday.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:58 PM

8:34 shared his first kiss with his grandmother.


at her wake.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 8:59 PM

9:05 asks his pillow, "Can I cum?"

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:11 PM

#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:11 PM

9:05 won't pay for his pillow's abortion.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:13 PM

9:05 can't sleep unless his bedroom door is left open a crack and the nightlight is on in the hallway.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:14 PM

#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:14 PM

9:05 buys Club Magazine at the Hudson News in Penn Station
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:20 PM

9:05 reads Club Magazine on the LIRR during peak hours.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:21 PM

9:05 sits down at the urinal
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:23 PM

9:05 wonders if he'll ever find true love
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:24 PM

He tells us to pay attention to ourselves, and realize that sometimes you have to take a paid vacation from not working.

"What do you mean I'm acting crazy? Repeating myself? Let's hit Seaside, brah! Mom will drive us!"

-Jersey Republican

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:27 PM

L U L Z


I've fucking mutilated and deformed this sites metal comment section.


Good times.


Victory.

Posted by Josh The Fabulous F5er! | July 8, 2014 9:32 PM

^ *We've. To be fair.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:33 PM

sausage meltdown

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:48 PM

At least the meltdown and mental breakdown guy had some good jokes. What do you got other then repeating the same lame shit?

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:54 PM

9:48 imagines a world without war.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:55 PM

^a link? That's sad.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:56 PM

9:56 has trouble with trigonometry.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:57 PM

9:57 is through the glass . . . and yet, he orders off the kid's meal and still asks to wrap his leftovers.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 9:59 PM

@9:57#1 10/10 would laff.

@9:54/55/56#2/57#1/59

At least you tried, Buckeye. You had all those tabs open just waiting to copy & paste away.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:01 PM

10:01 bought Dawson's Creek on Blu Ray.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:02 PM

10:01 sings along with Paula Cole
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:03 PM

^ And I'm a God Troll. So?

Posted by Josh The Fabulous F5er! | July 8, 2014 10:04 PM

10:01 listens to Coast To Coast and takes notes.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:05 PM

10:01 makes eye contact with his cat when he masturbates.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:06 PM

10:01 belongs to a minor league fantasy baseball league.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:07 PM

Where's you're funny link 10:01?

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:08 PM

10:01 cries while watching the Facts of Life.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:08 PM

^lol that's it? are you done?

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:11 PM

10:01 chews each bite of food 33 times before swallowing.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:11 PM

I T T:

V I C T O R Y

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:12 PM

10:11 is never satisfied.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:12 PM

Yes, it's all one guy who loves acting like two or three guys. I get the feeling BV's traffic was down, so they hired this dude to troll and drive traffic.

I have a feeling that it will backfire. It used to seem like dozens of people posted here, and now it's about 4 different guys tops.

Is there a better NYC music blog we can move to?

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:12 PM

^lol so confused

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:13 PM

10:12 eats his Marino's Ice upside down.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:15 PM

10:13 delivers Pennysaver
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:16 PM

The guy who goes by Josh has complimented himself and laughed at his own jokes tons of times recently. He always posts in clusters. BV staffer? Someone at BV's 15 year old son?

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:17 PM

10:13 wonders where the people go when he shuts off his T.V.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:17 PM

@10:17

This used to be a war zone.


Then we won.


So now take some time.


Tend to your wounds. Bury your dead.


Then bow before your new masters.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:18 PM

Not unhinged. Just an annoying teenager that doesn't date.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:19 PM

Jesus Josh, calm down. Shouldn't you be inciting racial hatred at YouTube?

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:21 PM

6nigga eye jus trell. wtf iz goin' on hur

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:21 PM

Not one funny remark from 10:18/19/21/21II
LAME, DAD.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:23 PM

Hatred and fear drives progress. You wouldn't have the internet without cold war terror.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:24 PM

10:21 dry humps his couch because he doesn't want to get VD.
#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:25 PM

Victory.

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:35 PM

Ok just posting a comment thanking this site for explaining what invisible oranges means .

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 10:55 PM

Oh oh! Looks like we ran up on squirts bed time again!


See you tomorrow, sport!

Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2014 11:04 PM

"Delivering the Pennysaver" was pretty funny.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 12:25 AM

^lol shut up and go to bed buckeye

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:01 AM

1:01 takes credit for his dog's farts.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 9:58 AM

1:01 shakes his penis more than two times after he pees

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 9:59 AM

1:01 never tips more the 15% because the service "wasn't that good".

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 10:00 AM

1:01 plays air bass to Winger.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 10:00 AM

1:01 has a framed poster of Samantha Fox in his bedroom.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 10:01 AM

1:01's parents are still together.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 10:02 AM

#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 10:02 AM

#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 10:02 AM

HUGE LOLs for this bitch slap fest. Kudos all around, boyz.

Oh, and V I C T O R Y !!! LOL

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 11:26 AM

BAZ

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 11:32 AM

fuschia

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 11:42 AM

mauve

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 12:21 PM

11:26 thinks he's great at playing Hide 'n' Go Seek because no one ever finds him.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 12:55 PM

11:26 Holds his own hand when crossing the street.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 12:56 PM

11:26 drops his pants around his ankles when peeing at the urinal.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 12:56 PM

#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 12:57 PM

Dude, I'm 11:26 and we're on the same team!!!! You don't need to attack me, bro.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:08 PM

Sorry, 1:08. I got swept away. I'm a little slap happy. Again, sorry.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:19 PM

12:24 wonders where the sun goes at night.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:19 PM

12:24 never factors in for the tip when dining with a large group.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:20 PM

12:24 sleeps holding his penis because he's afraid someone will cut it off in the middle of the night.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:20 PM

#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:20 PM

No problem 1:19, I figured as much. I like the rapid fire one liners, kind of like Airplane. The Airplane of Sausage. Sausageplane :eyes roll:

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:30 PM

^oooooh someone posted a link. Very creative. Like a prop comic.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:36 PM

1:35 wears underwear with his bathing suit.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:37 PM

#prayforbuckeye #BVTroll

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:37 PM

*insert "witty" hummus joke here*

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:42 PM

"The bitch slapping will continue until #SVGH skills improve!"

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 1:44 PM

Oh I know das right

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 2:31 PM

the term "invisible oranges" is some bullshit. it's obviously a wizzard orb or a skull.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 2:52 PM

Invisible Oranges = "I like to play dress up and pretend that I am child again, when I had invisible friends I made from inanimate objects such as rocks, pillows and table fruit"

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 3:11 PM

The proper term is metal claw, not stupid invisible oranges.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 3:45 PM

Which is it, 3:11? Invisible friends or imaginary friends made from inanimate objects? Or are implying that they imagined rocks, pillows and table fruit and then anthropomorphized these imaginary rocks, pillows and table fruit? I'm not following 100%, but I think I get where you're coming from.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 3:49 PM

I always thought "invisible oranges" was a reference to a sausages drained nut sack after a visit to the #SVGH. Y'know, like before they were all huge & swollen and now they're all shriveled and emptied out?

Amiwrong?

Or maybe a sausage can only see the shaft through the #SVGH hence the "oranges" are invisible?

Help me out, sausages. I need some clarification here.

Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2014 5:22 PM

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