Posted in movies | music | pictures on August 8, 2014

photos by Dana (distortion) Yavin, words by Bill Pearis

Jarvis Cocker
Jarvis Cocker
Jarvis Cocker

"That was one of the most incredible things I've ever witnessed." Jarvis Cocker had just seen a nine-year-old boy named Graham belt out Pulp's "This is Hardcore." (Feel free to peruse the lyrics if unfamiliar.) "It was a little disturbing... but I will not forget that, ever." Nobody who saw it will. The kid won.

Cocker and Pulp documentary director Florian Habicht were judges in a Pulp karaoke competition that also featured a girl who came out dressed as an old lady for "Help the Aged," only to then perform a striptease; and audience favorite Chance who had clearly studied Cocker's stage moves for his very enthusiastic rendition of "Babies" where he recovered fully from falling off the stage. Jarvis seemed amused and bemused by the whole thing, noting that "I can truly say that was a unique experience."

This was the afterparty for last night's Rooftop Films screening (8/7) of Habicht's terrific documentary, PULP: A Film About Life, Death & Supermarkets in Sunset Park's Industry City that also featured a Q&A with Cocker and Habicht. Filmed around Pulp's 2012 show in their hometown of Sheffield, the last date on their reformation tour, the documentary spends as much time with fans and local residents as it does the band, painting a vivid portrait of the city that shaped the band. It is not a film charting Pulp's beginnings through their breakup in 2002. "That's what YouTube and Wikipedia is for," said Habicht. It's a sweet, charming movie that you don't have to have even heard "Common People" to enjoy.

If you missed the Rooftop Films screening (and the Lincoln Center "Sound & Vision" series screening), the Pulp documentary will be released by Oscilloscope in theaters and VOD in November, with a home video release not too long after. Screening dates and more pictures from the screening, Q&A and afterparty as well as Graham's audition video, below...

---

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Jarvis Cocker

Pulp This Is Hardcore by Graham (age 9)

PULP: A Film About Life, Death & Supermarkets - screening dates
11-19 Boston, MA - Brattle Theatre
11-19 Washington, DC - Angelika Pop-Up
11-19 Fairfax, VA - Angelika Mosaic
11-19 Detroit, MI - Cinema Detroit
11-19 Columbus, OH - Gateway Film Center
11-19 Seattle, WA - Grand Illusion
11-19 Portland, OR - Hollywood Theatre
11-19 Dallas, TX - Angelika Dallas
11-19 Plano, TX - Angelika Plano
11-19 San Diego, CA - Reading Gaslamp
11-19 San Diego, CA - Reading Town Square
11-19 Sacramento, CA - Reading Tower
11-19 Honolulu, HI - Reading Kahala
11-26 Los Angeles, CA - Cinefamily

---

      

Comments (124)

That kid's parents try very hard!

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 11:06 AM

i went to this cuz there is a dunkin donuts a block away. i did much damage on a box of munchkind and a dunkaccin-o)))

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 11:08 AM

Surely I can't be the only one who thinks it's not cute to have a nine-year-old singing lyrics like "It seems I saw you in some teenage wet dream" and "You make me hard" and "It's what men in stained raincoats pay for" in front of an audience of hundreds of adults at midnight. It's flat-out creepy and exploitative, and yeah, it's bad parenting. Also bad judgment from Rooftop Films, even letting a kid into this event. This was a film screening for adults, as if the 8 PM - 1 AM time slot didn't make it clear enough. Putting a child into it makes things awkward for everybody.

It's a nine-year-old. Yeah, I've loved Pulp's music since I was a kid, I got my copy of "This is Hardcore" when I was 13 and hid it from my parents, but I sure as hell didn't jump around in front of adults singing the songs from it. Nobody who's not a pedophile really wants to hear somebody else's young child explicitly singing about sex.

It's not adorable or clever or an example of your kid expressing himself, it's flat-out sick in the head. If your kid starting singing that at school, they'd call in the social workers. There's a line between what's suitable for adults and what's suitable for children, and trotting your kid out at midnight to sing "This is Hardcore" quite clearly crosses it.

Posted by Jules | August 8, 2014 11:17 AM

At first I thought & hoped that a young kid singing a Pulp song would be fun....then I heard what song he was doing, then he started to perform...I wish I never saw this.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 11:22 AM

Honestly I thought it sounded a bit revoltingly twee but seeing how upset Jules is now I'm OK with it winning.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 11:23 AM

so how many hot azns were there??

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 11:32 AM

Jules, you suck. You kids are going to hate your fat-ass and end up failing out of CSI.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 11:34 AM

It was in bad taste

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 11:35 AM

I don't talk music with post-city people because all they know is brunch and kidz clothes BUT...

I like the Pulp song Common People. It getz five starz on my ipod and always makes me laugh. I'm like the narrator in many wayz.

Posted by Mr. Foot Fetish | August 8, 2014 11:39 AM

I'm more upset with the girl that did a terrible job at 'this is hardcore' and thought she was hot enough for everyone to think she did a good job. HAHA. It felt like someone was tickling me when she got fucking booed.

I thought that was the worst part of the night until the 'help the aged' theater major came out and made me feel a deep embarrassment in my stomach to the point where I actually left and decided to spend my time on the N with the bed bugs instead.

You guys almost ruined my favorite band. Almost.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 11:47 AM

They booed that girl because they gave her a higher score than the "Babies" guy who shoulda won. Jarvis admitted to bias: "I should say she drove us here and if we don't give her a good score she might not drive us home."

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 11:53 AM

Well im going to pretend the booing was for doing a fucking awful job, the way it should have gone down. I can roll around on the floor like a slut too.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:00 PM

I completely agree with Jules. When I was falling asleep last night all I could think was "male equivalent of JonBenet Ramsey with 'cooler' parents".

Why would anyone think that there is anything okay with this? How would the crowd have reacted if it were a little girl singing this --okay it would be funny maybe for a girl to sing "you make me hard," but sexualizing prepubescent kids is indeed for pedophiles, it's the definition of pedophile, people!

Rooftop Films really did a crap job with the whole night. People didn't pay money just to see the movie, they wanted to see Jarvis, who was present and taking Q&As on only one of the roofs. Ridiculous -- obvious Rooftop Films saw that they could make more money (and okay, maybe they need more money, I get that), so they oversold.

They should have sold out the 1st roof and then made tickets available for the separate locations, specifically stating that people who were buying later tickets were buying for a different location. Also, why did they increase the price to 20 bucks for the people who were buying them late? They should have been the same price and told those people they wouldn't be on the roof with Jarvis.
I think that would have been more fair to people who'd originally bought tickets.

Anyway, the karaoke lasted forever, there were too many contestants, and that 9-year-old was the cherry on the top.
I feel sorry for that kid, sorry for the other contestants who didn't have a chance because Jarvis was too nice to not let the kid win (we could read Jarvis's lips while they were judging him and he was saying "I don't want to make the kid feel bad.")

And why did that kid's parents think that that would be funny? Or appropriate?
He could have sang almost ANY other song and it would have been cute, but as soon as he said "You make me hard" we were all standing there cringing. Ugh.

Boy, that was a long rant. Sorry. I had to get it out.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:05 PM

No frohawk?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:17 PM

The boundaries of sexuality—and the loathing and self-loathing inflicted on those who vary from accepted standards of sexuality—are some of the most pervasive aspects of the monoculture. Confrontation is useless. The 'rules' are policed by a society too busy denying complicity in its own degradation to acknowledge the fundamental impotence festering at its core.

But a nine year old singing 'This Is Hardcore' in Times Square on New Year's Eve? That's a new one.

Posted by Dr. Acula | August 8, 2014 12:18 PM

Jules, "It's a nine-year-old." IT'S? You did...see that he was a boy, right?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:28 PM

Having someone's kid up there singing a song about sex that somebody else wrote doesn't sexualize the kid, you do. Just like guns don't kill people, people kill people. I thought it was funny, not sexy. You're the weirdo for going there. If you're creeped out, then there must be some deep-seeded diddler feeling that you have and are afraid to let out. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Perv.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:29 PM

Babies would have been more appropriate for the kid but for all those parent bashing, go get an MSW and work in social services to get an idea of true sick shit going on in parenting and how bad kids are treated, then come back and complain about this.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:31 PM

I bought my ticket early but also noticed the price jump later on and thought that was uncool of Rooftop Films. I stuck around for the karaoke contest but was leaving just as they announced the 9-year-old. I thought I misheard, but no. I see there actually was a 9-year-old Pulp karaoke contestant. Personally, I thought Chance should've won - he was clearly the crowd favorite. But, eh...at least I got to see Jarvis in person.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:35 PM

Pulp fans are very tl;dr

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:39 PM

12:29, recognizing that other people are tarting a kid up for the amusement of exclusively adults doesn't make someone a pedo, it makes them someone who is aware of their surroundings. At least beauty pagent little girls are surrounded by other little girls and aren't explicitly singing songs about having sex to a bunch of adults.

Obviously that kid's parents aren't the worst parents in the world. They just seem really lame.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:43 PM

I don't know. I think the kid is magical. He's got insane confidence & serious swagger. And it's all in good fun -- life goes back to normal. Relax, people.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:48 PM

I hope the next thing Rooftop screens is "To Catch a Predator" greatest hits because some of y'all need to take a seat with Chris Hansen if you don't realize how messed up that was.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:51 PM

Thank god I never heard the Beastie Boys "Girls" when I was a kid. Otherwise I would have become an MRA troller on Brooklyn Vegan.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:52 PM

The parents are guilty of being dorks. That's for sure.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:57 PM

Is the second Pic Eddie Argos from Art Brut?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 12:58 PM

Yes, cause nobody else has ever listened to or sang a song in their life that was inappropriate for their age group. We were all sheltered from Pop culture as children. People are easy to point fingers. I was there, and I thought this was amazing. Graham, don't let haters get you down. They are just jealous of your awesomeness! Graham's parents, kudos to you for raising your child around great music!

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:00 PM

How about you let your kid do kid things instead of being some alt stage mother?

This was gross.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:03 PM

I liked Prince and Madonna growing up, but my parents would never have let me sing Darling Nikki on a stage and I'm glad they wouldn't and I wouldn't have wanted to anyway. You're supposed to sing stuff like that with your friends and giggle about it.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:06 PM

Would You Let Your Daughter Date A Rolling Stone?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:07 PM

Yeah, Graham's parents, great job having your nine-year-old sing on stage about erections and wet dreams to a bunch of drunk strangers late at night. Yes, I'm just totally jealous I didn't have parents who thought that was a great thing for a boy entering 4th grade to do, and which they thought would be a great thing to share with the world.

FFS, why not just teach him "Help the Aged" or "A Little Soul"?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:08 PM

I suspect Graham's parents are hipster doofuses.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:14 PM

1:08 - "A Little Soul" would have been great but wasn't a choice.
Wish Jarvis would have surprised the crowd and karaoke'd to his stuff!

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:21 PM

This rly soured the entire evening. Like, maybe I could've handled it earlier in the evening, when I was less drunk but nope -_-

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:24 PM

Jarvis is a smart guy and a father.

I'm sort of surprised he didn't smack the parents and ask them what the fuck they we're thinking about.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:25 PM

How did it hurt you, !:24?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:26 PM

What are Graham's parent's names? Someone is badly in need of some public shaming.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:31 PM

1:31, your mom, and also deez nutz.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:33 PM

I was surprised Jarvis didn't just put up his hand and go "Noooooo I'm not having this one," but it's not his fault the people at Rooftop were stupid enough to bring the kid on to sing in the first place.

And the parents are pretty dumb, or maybe just desperate for attention enough, to put a video of him singing it up on YouTube.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:36 PM

The real abuse of the night was the girl who forced her way into the competition late because she knew people. She knew her song was already picked, by a 9yr old no less, and proceeded to subject the audience to a completely lackluster uncharismatic, shitily sung version of a great Pulp song. That girl will forever look at herself in the mirror and ask, AM I SEXIER THAN A 9 YR OLD?? From all the pederasts in the comments above the answer is NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I, much like Jarvis, didn't really know what to make of the kid, but for right or wrong he was the best performer. Hipster doofuses parents aside. Ugh coming to grips with being old, never thought seeing Jarvis and enjoying Pulp would lead to conversations on the merits of parenting!

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:36 PM

CREEPY. And yes, awful, narcissistic, clueless, parenting.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:37 PM

How should he be parented, internet commenters?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:39 PM

they're not bad parents for letting him sing stupid words that he doesn't understand. this was clearly something he wanted to do. he was sitting with his dad in front of me during the movie and paid attention to the whole film. he genuinely had a good time and likes pulp, and probably more than most of the REALLY hip people that were there. "i LOVE common 2000!" barf.

the vapid girls behind me in line had bad parents though, apparently, since i had to listen to them talk for an hour and they seemed spoiled as shit.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:39 PM

maybe it's his favorite song??

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:43 PM

1:36 - FUCK! THANK YOU! That girl was terrible and I hope she reads this!

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:43 PM

With all this talk about parenting we should definitely point out the shitty parenting that lead to the surplus of entitled hipsters in this city. Fucking 80's and Reagan!

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:48 PM

I was there. It was beyond creepy. In fact, during the performance my girlfriend whispered to me, "That kid has terrible parents." I felt bad for Jarvis. Must have been awkward.

1:39 I highly doubt that it was the kid's idea to perform that song. And I can't believe I have to point this out, but even if it was his idea, good parents don't let nine year olds do whatever they think is a good idea.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:50 PM

It's like watching a David Lynch movie come to life. Yee gads.

Posted by whiteguy | August 8, 2014 1:51 PM

ONLY IN NEW YORK, AM I RIGHT??

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:56 PM

1:50 how do you know thats not his favorite pulp song? "You can't believe you have to point that out?". Point WHAT out? Your opinion? Its not a fact, idiot.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:57 PM

!:48 is right. I grew up in the 80s, a less micro-managing parent time, and I listened to Purple Rain and all the songs about (!) masturbating, and "Like A Virgin" and I somehow made it out ok.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 1:58 PM

1:50, do you believe that kids can't have taste, and it is only brought on by parents?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:00 PM

^Jesus, you're so dense I half suspect you're one of the parents.

Even if it was his favorite song, any decent parent would have stepped in and disallowed it. Any decent parent wouldn't have signed him up in the first place. And yes it is a FACT, nine year old's don't know what's best for them. That's why you RAISE kids. smh

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:00 PM

2:00 was directed at 1:57

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:02 PM

He is what Pulp's new song will sound like...
http://youtu.be/QOT9wq8w4w0

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:08 PM

I think 1:14 pretty much nailed it.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:12 PM

Mother of a six year old here. I wouldn't let my daughter sing I'm a Little Teapot in an environment like that, yet alone This is Hardcore. No way. No other mother I know would either. What were those parents thinking about? The mind reels.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:19 PM

I keep getting this song in my head now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHxGyJp0_5I

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:23 PM

I saw the dad and he was not a hipster doofus, more like a middle-aged Park Slope one.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:26 PM

One Brooklyn doofus is essentially the same as another.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:31 PM

I wonder if people would be saying the same thing if this was a more pop culture band? i.e. this little annoying girl. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7hTAp6KrGY
At least this little dude wasn't annoying.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 2:41 PM

At CityFest 2014 CITY KIDZ R NOT WELCOME (unless they are competing in a contest.)

Speaking of contests, POST CITY PARENT MOST FRIGHTENED OF THE SUBURBZ is cancelled. The entries were bringing me down.

Hey marketers, CityFest 2014 is a celebration not a sellabration. Keep your crusty productz.

Posted by Mr. Foot Fetish | August 8, 2014 3:16 PM

Maybe in the Fall there will be a contest show on Fox where little kids all sing their favorite songs about fucking.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 3:23 PM

overhead last night: (Graham on Chance's performance) "yea it was a good imitation of jarvis, but i'm just not sure if he 'got it'". Graham is the real deal & everyone's gonna be EXTRA butthurt when he's famous in 10 years.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 3:27 PM

Graham might be the most butthurt of all by that time. (I'm sorry but that was too easy).

Yeah, Chance wasn't that great, either.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 3:36 PM

Jarvis actually asked him "why did you pick that song in particular." And the kid said it was his favorite pulp song and "maybe my favorite song ever." I don't think his love for the song was fake. Do I think his parents or rooftop films should have said "how about another song." Probably. "help the Aged" woulda been perfect.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 3:43 PM

These people are embarassments to the human race.

A kid singing sexually explicit lyrics? Oof.

Sad sack karaoke shit.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 3:48 PM

Seriously let's call it what it is:

KARAOKE

The 9 year old won because he's 9 that's it. It gives the event more pub and buzz if a 9 year old wins it.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 4:02 PM

FOOTMAN!

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 4:41 PM

Well, Buzzfeed's writing about it, so that lends credence to what 4:02 said.

Hope the parents are happy with the attention they're finally getting.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 5:06 PM

Hello internet, I haven't read too many comments but enough to get the gist - I used to babysit Graham and he is an exceptional child with the refined taste of an adult. He loves the MoMA, James Bond, and Pulp. He and I spent many a rainy day listening to music - from the soundtrack to Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom to Pulp's Common People, and all he knows is that he loves the music. His love is pure, and I'd hope any parent would support that in their child. And furthermore, performing for Jarvis Cocker was a dream of his, a dream his parents supported, and look what happened, he won! What an amazing thing, what a dream to have fulfilled at such a young age! What an accomplishment! I'm so happy for him, and proud that he had the courage to stand on that stage and share his love for Pulp with the crowd. That's what I'm taking away, that's what that night was for me.

Posted by Liz | August 8, 2014 6:15 PM

One more thing, let's be smarter than all of this, the drama, yes? Let's remember that Muddy Waters and Elvis Presley and The Rollingstones were once thought capable of corrupting America's youth with their sexual lyrics and moves - let's remember that music makes us, above all else. feel alive, no matter our age.

Posted by Liz | August 8, 2014 6:30 PM

Yes, Liz, but Graham is NOT an adult. He's a nine-year-old kid who was singing about getting hard and having sex in front of a group of strangers at 1 in the morning. It was inappropriate and awful. Want to sing a Pulp song in front of Jarvis Cocker? That's swell. Then pick something for the child that isn't sexually explicit and explain to him why "This Is Hardcore" is a song he can't do at his age. Jarvis was uncomfortable and uneasy; it was disturbing and Rooftop Films was insane for letting the kid do it.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 6:33 PM

My son likes Iron Man by Black Sabbath because he thinks it's about the super hero. Kids don't understand the lyrics of pop songs.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 6:37 PM

When I was 9, if my parents said "no you can't sing this Dylan song to your hero Bob Dylan" I'd have been pretty pissed. Do you all just not remember being a child?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 6:41 PM

Weren't your moms mad when you wanted to go to the Grimes show?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 6:44 PM

His parents didn't have to stop him from singing for Jarvis. There were ten songs to choose from, and he sang the most overtly sexual and inappropriate one, which is why it's so fucked up. Nobody cares if he sings for Jarvis, it's what he sang. It's not cute!

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 6:47 PM

Yes, we know, every rich white person in Brooklyn has an amazing gifted child who's mentally an adult. He's still a nine-year-old child singing about about wet dreams and getting hard and wanting it bad, after midnight, to a crowd of adults who didn't come out last night to see messed-up shit like that. Thank his parents for making everything really, really weird for those of us who wanted to have a good time without being made to feel like we were perverts.

Some places you shouldn't bring kids and this was one of them. And anybody with an ounce of common sense should know that.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 6:48 PM

He shouldn't have been there period, no matter what song he was singing. He's a child. This was an adult event. And PUHleeze, Jarvis Cocker isn't the kid's hero. These parent's and the "babysitter" really need to pull their heads out of their asses.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 6:56 PM

You'd think Pulp fans would have a little sense of deviancy. Guess you haven't heard their songs.

Sorry: "But the children!"

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 7:04 PM

Pulp fans also have enough intelligence to know the difference between what is fine for adults and what is suitable for children. Well, you don't, but most do.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 7:10 PM

It's safe to say that the puritanical vein is alive and well in Brooklyn! I won't be reading more, thanks for the thoughtful dialogue!

Posted by Liz | August 8, 2014 7:11 PM

You can tell EXACTLY what is going on here with Liz's comment" "He loves the MoMA, James Bond, and Pulp."

He is a little boy. He is not a fashion accessory or some emblem of your lifestyle. Let him be a kid. These seem like absolutely horrible parents.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 7:16 PM

What? All young boys like Bond! He shoots people and solves the international conspiracies!

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 7:19 PM

I can accept not liking MoMA, but I can also accept that there are smarter children than you, 7:19.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 7:24 PM

Poor kid. He must get his ass kicked at school on the reg.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 7:26 PM

Just to confirm, Jarvis had no say in who sang, right? It was all Rooftop's call?

And Liz, if you think it's Puritanical to believe children have no business singing "You make me hard" to a bunch of adult strangers at 1 AM, you probably shouldn't be taking care of children.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 7:33 PM

It's strange how no one's pointed out that the difference between This is Hardcore and songs we were all raised on (Like A Virgin, the Purple Rain soundtrack, etc.) is HUGE! Like a Virgin was on the radio all the godddamn day long when I was a kid... if you wanted to listen to music while driving your kids around all day, you couldn't escape it.

How the fuck does your kid come to love This Is Hardcore so much that it's his favorite song? This is not a subtle song like She Bop (well, subtle for a kid who wouldn't know what that refers to) but there's nothing subtle about This Is Hardcore. You hear that song once and you're like: "Uh... maybe Dad'll listen to that one later. Here's Disco 2000 for you."

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 8:22 PM

Also, the video has been made private. Either the YouTube comments were inappropriately vile or the parents finally realized this performance, in itself, crossed the line.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 8:23 PM

How you gotta be so rude, 8:22?

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 8:25 PM

Oh my GAWD! The Tea Lounge must be simply A-BUZZ discussing these horrible parents and this POOR POOR CHILD. Who will call DFS? Will no one save this child??

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 8:35 PM

I never knew exposing a child to arts was horrible parenting and not letting a child be a child.

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 8:46 PM

So, 8:46, your definition of "letting a child be a child" is having a nine-year-old gyrate and gesticulate seductively in front of a bunch of strangers, late at night at an adult event, singing about teenage wet dreams, erections and sex. Whether he understands what he was singing or not, the performance was geared to be provocative and baiting, in the hopes of going "viral." As everyone with common sense here has pointed out, the song was totally inappropriate for a child and his parents made an alarmingly stupid decision in their sorry desperation to make Graham "famous." Rooftop Films is also culpable.

Posted by anonymous | August 8, 2014 9:16 PM

I sure hope this kid's parents are going to buy me a new monocle.
http://thesimpsonsforever.tumblr.com/post/23109029602/thats-my-third-monocle-this-week-i-simply-must

Posted by Jerkface | August 8, 2014 10:30 PM

I was there and thought it was disturbing and interesting at the same time... However, I don't know how kids interpret this stuff for themselves so I can't judge or attach meaning for them.

However, I am growing more convinced that reading the comments here and elsewhere about it would be far more traumatizing to young Graham than singing This Is Hardcore...

Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2014 10:41 PM

It shocks me to see such vitriol aimed at a nine year old and his parents - are you all that deeply threatened? Once, my mother let me stay up late so that I could watch Bjork on SNL when I was 12. I also watched a group of 8th grade girls perform Like a Virgin for a talent show when I was in 6th grade. I'm pretty sure neither instances harmed my psyche. One thing is for sure, Graham will be eons ahead of many of you when he's your age, making music or film or art or whatever he sets his mind to. His parents are very far from provocateurs and would in no way exploit their son. This was not a stunt, not a gimmick, not fixed - Graham is very self directed and knows what he llikea. He is the real deal. I can't believe I'm still commenting on this. They probably removed the YouTube video bc the comments were unnecessarily harsh, as I've found here. What this comment stream has reveed is how narrow minded and cynical hipster Puritanism really is.

Posted by Liz | August 8, 2014 11:46 PM

Yeah, Liz! This kid's the next Tracey Emin in the making!

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 12:07 AM

Upper class Honey Boo Boo.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 1:00 AM

There's two issues - 1 is finding something pervy about it and that is certainly puritanical (and creepy). Not only that but when the hysteric got called puritanical, she suggested the kid should be taken away or the person fired (7:33) - which is a pure hysteric puritanical response and proving this person correct for using the term.

The other criticism that I'm more sympathetic to is the need for parents to take their kids to shit where they don't belong. Like just because you think it's ok for him to be there as a kid makes it ok as if it was only about the kid - you forget that for the rest of us we don't really want to be drinking and cheering and booing karaoke with your 9 year old around, whether you approve or not. Yeah, we get you think it's great your kid can sing a pulp song, but for the rest of us it's at best a buzzkill that forces us to placate you and at worst you get the crazy hysterics/repressed pedos as seen in this thread coming out with the pitchforks.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 1:04 AM

Liz, this kid will go far only because he's "made it" and he's only 9 - he has clearly grown up with money, and I can only expect this sort of "okayness" of sexualizing children from wealthy parents.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 1:07 AM

None of this matters. Cocker is a nobody on this side of the pond. His closest brush with American success was when Bill Fucking Shatner covered one of his songs.

Posted by rasmussen | August 9, 2014 1:08 AM

WOW. Well I guess if it was up to you people, my sweet mom would have been strung up in the town square for that time I memorized "Tits and Ass" from the musical All That Jazz when I was 5 years and jumped up on a coffee table to perform it. Cause CLEARLY she is a horrible parent that should have been micromanaging my every minute rather than letting me listen to records, dance, interpret and turn into my own awesome, amazing young person.
How TERRIBLE that Graham's parents allowed him the opportunity to perform his very favorite song for the leader of his very favorite band and stay up past his bedtime. CRIMINAL. Oh and the kid has decent taste in music too, LOCK HIM UP! And force him to listen to "age appropriate" music, whatever that is...have any of you listened to the radio lately? What should he be listening to? Justin Bieber? Torture your own kids.
I'm not even going to mention the "not suitable for children" issue of content because it is irrelevant. It's MUSIC people. And that kid put more soul into his performance than I've seen anywhere in a long time.
Seriously, you people sound like a bunch of thought police and you should all be ashamed for what basically amounts to "slut-shaming" of a little kid who appears to have worked his little heart out on his performance. Shame shame shame on all of you.
GO GRAHAM!

Posted by Cynthia | August 9, 2014 1:12 AM

Apparently the parents are ace at mental gymnastics. Go figure.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 1:39 AM

OMG, these parents. First of all, the kid doesn't like Pulp. YOU like Pulp. 9 year old kids in 2014 have zero idea who Pulp are. And why would they?

"And force him to listen to "age appropriate" music, whatever that is...have any of you listened to the radio lately? What should he be listening to? Justin Bieber?"


You're truly awful. Trying to push your hipster standards on a little kid. Let him live his own life. My 8 year old niece likes Taylor Swift. That's what's cool to her. My opinion on that doesn't mean a half a damn. She has the right to live and learn at her own pace.

7:16 was right on. These parents are treating that kid like a sociology project.

SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 1:55 AM

Soooo "Anonymous" 1:55 AM...your niece likes T. Swift and "has the right to live and learn at her own pace."

But Graham doesn't? Huh?

And why wouldn't a 9 year old listen to Pulp? It's practically the classic rock of NOW if the classic rock of my childhood was say, the Beatles. Did your parents ever play the Beatles for you? Rolling Stones? Well those guys were all on drugs and totally innappropriate for children and your parents are obviously demons and should be burned at the stake.

Go choke on a vegan corndog or something you incoherent bigot.

Posted by Cynthia | August 9, 2014 2:48 AM

The point, overall, is this: the kid is nine-years-old. You know he doesn't understand what the song means. Therefore, you as a parent are getting strange pleasure from watching a small child perform an explicit song when he probably thinks he's singing about lasers and candy. Ten years from now, I really doubt he will be happy that this happened, regardless of what you think as cool parents. No kid knows what those lyrics mean at nine-years-old, I'm sorry. And if they do, they are completely fucked.

If you are going to make an argument that this is appropriate through comparisons to the Rolling Stones and Elvis, then you're actually insane. There is no relationship between a rockstar pushing the status quo and a pre-pubescent kid singing about jacking off because his parents only let him listen to brooklyn-approved crap.

He could have sang any other song; there were plenty with moderately-risque lyrics. The reason this all happened is more than obvious; it's the same reason the parents uploaded the video of him singing the song to youtube.

But go ahead and tell me that you don't teach your kids their value system, because that makes perfect sense. Graham will be the "cute little boy" walking up to girls and singing about busting on them in extremely graphic detail at age 27 because that was the moment where he received the most positive reinforcement as a child. Everyone loves that guy.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 3:37 AM

damn. at least graham has a freebee for the therapist for the next infinite years; you know those parents are sending him starting at age 11 because it's supes progressive.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 3:40 AM

if this happened in a poor area of the country, the kid would have been taken into protective custody. you'd see a headline ala "louisiana child found in bar at 1am singing about masturbation while being encouraged by parents, taken into protective custody." and it would make perfect sense. because it's common sense not to let your kid do that. but here, they get the chic card.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 3:45 AM

White trash family tarts up their little kid and puts her in a pageant with a half-ton of makeup and stripper clothes: "HAHAHAHA LOOK AT THAT HUMAN GARBAGE THEY'RE SO STUPID WE'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEM."

Brooklyn parents have their young son perform sexually explicit song at 1 AM at an event blatantly not meant for children: "OMG DON'T CRITICIZE THE PARENTS!!! HE'S JUST EXPRESSING HIMSELF!!!! HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG ABOUT IT!!!! HE HAS SUCH GOOD TASTE!!!!11ELEVEN!!!"

Uh-huh.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 9:37 AM

These parents are deeply in love with themselves.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 11:39 AM

Whatever, they've given us a litmus test for bad parenting. Literally anyone who thinks this was a good idea is a terrible parent, regardless of what they believe.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 12:01 PM

This seems like one of those things that other parent-friends would laugh at really uncomfortably, saying 'yeah... it's cute, i guess...' and then immediately tell everyone they know when they leave since it makes them feel like better parents in comparison.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 12:16 PM

1:00 nailed it

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 12:19 PM

"It's your life - but only if you make it so. The standards by which you live must be your own standards, your own values, your own convictions in regard to what is right and wrong, what is true and false, what is important and why is trivial. When you adopt the standards and the values of someone else or a community or a pressure group, you surrender your own integrity. You become, to the extent of your surrender, less of a human being." - Eleanor Roosevelt.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 1:11 PM

Actually 1:11 nailed it.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 1:41 PM

Insufferable squares. These comments and their demonization of sexuality in general are doing more damage to Graham's future than what very well may be his actual mature understanding of vaguely sexual lyrics of a great fucking song. When I was eight years old, I was already jerking off to visions of Madonna as soon as I figured out how everything "worked" - AND HOW I figured out how everything worked was asking questions about the lyrics TO Prince's "Darling Nikki" and having my parents be very uncensored about the frankly thin veil. Like it or not, pop culture tends to sometimes supplement the in between voids of parenting, and that is okay. It's part of adolescent imagination and self-identity.

Posted by Gabriel Hart | August 9, 2014 2:54 PM

dude, you were not jacking off at 8 years old. and if you were, that's kind of not normal. if you disagree, check science.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 2:59 PM

"vaguely sexual lyrics"

And you lost me.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 3:01 PM

Is it me or does Anonymous have a serious case of multiple personality disorder? I've never seen someone argue with themselves so much in my life.

Posted by -mHd- | August 9, 2014 3:30 PM

Why stop with Pulp? I think the parents should get the little monster to do a proper album of raunchy rock songs. "Wild Side" and "Street Hassle" by Lou Reed (maybe "Dirt" too), " Why'd You Do It" by M. Faithful, "Bodies" by the Sex Pistols, " Orgasm Addict" by the Buzzcocks, " Lola" by the Kinks. Throw in a bit of " Sister Morphine" by the Stones to round things out.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 3:51 PM

blame the Rooftop Films morons. the parents can't be expected to know better, they're just stage parents in a sad fantasy world. but the Rooftop people were total idiots to let this happen.

was there a single non-drunk person responsible for this event? guess that free corporate-sponsor vodka started early at "Industry City."

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 4:42 PM

I think it was the Rooftop Films interns who picked the contestants, so I blame those idiots most of all.

Every time I remember hearing that sweet little boy's voice uttering "You make me hard" I just feel awful. All of the people I was with that night were upset. It's just not something you want to hear a kid say.

Imagine if a little girl were on a stage at 1 am in front of a big group of drunk adults and singing "You make me wet" and tell me that that does not bother you.

Why does anyone think that this is cute? It is really gross.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 5:20 PM

i was there. love jarvis but event was terrible. rooftop film sucks.

Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2014 9:49 PM

Having a 9 year old kid sing This is Hardcore at 1 am - terrible.
If he really is a "pulp fan" then have him go on first and sing something less provocative.
I think someone mentioned that the kid watched the movie too?!
There should have been way less karaoke.
A better way to close the evening would have been to have Jarvis sing with the winner (and for it not to be a 9 year old boy).

Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2014 9:53 PM

Leave a Comment