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Justina lists the Top 10 greatest things she’s heard metal bands (and 1 non-metal band) say on stage in 2009

by Justina Villanueva

Eyehategod on a Rocks Off Boat (more by Chloe Rice)
Eyehategod

Before I dive into quotes and explanations, I would like to thank twitter and my cellphone for allowing me to take notes at the most inconvenient of times — like being smushed in between a bunch of big and way-too-stoked hardcore dudes at the Burnt By the Sun show. Because I was a stupid stoner as a teenager, its pretty hard to remember all the stuff I see at shows…

10. Kiss Kiss at Bowery Ballroom
“Fuck you mom. Fuck you dad. We’re playing Bowery Ballroom.”

9. Cephalic Carnage while on tour with Mayhem
“It’s back to be good, San Diego!” I heard this classic line from frontman Lenzig of Cephalic Carnage in several different cities during the Blackened Fest tour…

8. Howl at Fontanas
“I wish people would cheer like that every time I drink a beer,” Howl drummer Tim responded to an assload of cheers and clapping at the free beer Tonesofdeath.com show.

7. Melvins at Nokia Theater
“All you people up front look as bored as my mom when she comes to see us. Don’t worry. Down is still going to play,” said King Buzzo…

6. Burnt By The Sun at The Cake Shop
“Hey! We’re old. Give us a fucking break!” Burnt by the Sun frontman Mike Olender defended his bandmates for pausing to tune in between songs.

5. Eyehategod on a boat
“Pussy, guns and heroin.” It’s what Eyehategod drummer Joe LaCaze said to soundcheck his mic.

4. Gojira at Music Hall of Williamsburg
Gojira frontman Joe Duplantier was a bit disillusioned when the french metallers played Music Hall of Williamsburg in September and asked the crowd if they spoke french. He got a couple jokey replies. In utter frustration the vocalist bursted, “Did ANYONE take French in school?!” Sorry Joe. We dumb, yo.

3. Municipal Waste at New England Metal Fest
As it turned out, The Grateful Dead played a show at a venue right across the street from the metal fest, so it was the perfect opportunity for Municipal Waste to mock the situation by entering the stage with a sign in hand while asking if anyone has seen their dog. Frontman Tony Foresta perfected the gimmick when he made a special request, “I wanna see a circle pit of LOVE!”

2. Cannabis Corpse at ABC No Rio
Cannabis Corpse takes everything that Cannibal Corpse has ever done and adds a ganja leaf — hence making it even more enjoyable. When I saw the group of Richmond area guys during an ABC No Rio matinee, I heard something so genius I couldn’t shake it out of my head. And when I tell you what their song intro was to “I Cum Bud” you won’t be able to resist repeating it during the next cypher you attend: “Get the bud out your cock! ‘I Cum Bud!'”

1. Incantation at NJ Deathfest
Incantation Vocalist John McEntee asked a bunch of over-beer-ed and groggy metal heads from Jersey in his barely-intimidating, death metal throat voice, “Anyone here from Fairlawn?”
And when the stack of hay rolled in and the crickets got bored of chirping, McEntee realized no one was from his suburban, white picket fence town. So he disappointedly said, “Didn’t think so.” It was sad, cute and funny all in one.

Any memorable quotes of your own? Leave em in the comments.

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