by Klaus Kinski

I am going to spare you my usual editorializing and get right to the meat of the situation here. Basically, there is an absolute shit-ton of comedy and benefit type shows coming to the Bell House. I hope you like brass tacks, because I'm going to get right down to them.

Hey, did you get tickets for PROFESSOR BLASTOFF LIVE with Hosts Tig Notaro, Kyle Dunnigan, David Huntsberger plus a special guest? It happens at the Bell House on Saturday November 17 (aka this Saturday!) and, man, it sure as hell sold out.

On Wednesday (11/21), the Bell House will play host to The Musical Extravaganza to Restore Red Hook! starring Rosanne Cash and featuring Alex Battles and the Whisky Spitter Rebellion and B61: A film by Michael Buscemi. Here's more:

The evening kicks off with a square dance, hosted by NYC Barn Dance. Roseanne Cash will headline the evening, and Jesse Lenat, John Pinamonti and the Brotherhood of the Whiskey Spitter Rebellion will play. Michael Buscemi will screen his new film on the bus that runs through Red Hook, called "B61."

This show will benefit Restore Red Hook. Restore Red Hook aims to raise funds to help the small businesses of Red Hook, Brooklyn reopen their doors as soon as possible after the devastation of Hurricane Sandy.

On Sunday, November 25th at 8:00pm, as mentioned, the Bell House and Pretty Good Friends team up for a Hurricane Relief Benefit featuring A Very Funny 'F*ck You' To Sandy. The show will be hosted by Eugene Mirman and feature comedy from a powerhouse line up including Jon Glaser, Wyatt Cenac, Mike Birbiglia , Michael Che and more. I am vexed that this show isn't sold out, so get your tickets now!!

Wyatt Cenac at Prospect Park, August 2012 (more by Jessica Amaya)

And speaking of Wyatt Cenac, check him out a little less than a month later at the much smaller Union Hall when, on Friday December 21, he'll be part of the comedy roster at The Afterlife Comedy Show. The show is gang-hosted by Emily Heller, George Gordon, Erin Judge, and Josh Gondelman. The show is a measly eight bucks and besides Wyatt and the awesome hosts and hostess there will be more comedy to boot!

On Friday November 30 Nick Kroll, one of my all time favorite comedians, takes the stage for a headlining show at the Bell House. Sadly, this show sold out faster than a speeding bullet. I am still recovering from wounds sustained during a self-flagellation sesh I performed on myself upon realizing this had happened. But keep your eye on the Bell House twitter feed in case they release more tickets. Or, go hang outside the venue before the show because I promise you there will be many-a nimrod out there with extra tickets they'd sell for face.

Allow me to go ahead and continue to mention another great Wyatt Cenac related show, this one happening at the Bell House on Wednesday December 5th; for on Wednesday December 5th you can thrill to the THE TELL YOUR FRIENDS! THE CONCERT FILM! RELEASE SHOW/SANDY BENEFIT (caps totally necessary). Join host Liam McEneaney as he brings to the stage Wyatt Cenac, Aaron Freeman (formerly Gene Ween), Christian Finnegan, Victor Varnado, A Brief View of The Hudson, Rob Paravonian , and more! The guests WILL be quite special, your money is going to a good cause, and it's not sold out yet. Get yer tix now!

And don't forget about Wyatt's weekly show "Night Train" which happens at Littlefield.

On Thursday December 6 the Bell House will be the site of two live podcast recordings of How Did This Get Made? A Live Podcast With Paul Scheer, Jason Mantzoukas and June Diane Raphael. The early show went on sale and promptly sold out, but they added a late show (Thank Cod!) and tix for that are currently still available. Kaboom!

Flash forward a week later to Thursday December 13 and the Bell House will play host to The Party Machine's 2nd Annual Holiday Benefit Blowout! The show is hosted by the EXTREMELY funny and wonderful Arden Myrin and Lisa Delarios and features and atomic line-up of comedians including Jon Glaser, Chris Gethard, Sheng Wang, Janeane Garofalo and Adira Amram and the Experience. Tickets are only $12 and it will sell out, so git along l'il doggie and buy some tix!

Then on Wednesday December 19th catch TODD BARRY 25TH ANNIVERSARY IN COMEDY SHOW featuring Janeane Garofalo, Ted Alexandro, Jim Gaffigan and more! Thanks to that skank hurricane Sandy, Todd's first attempt at a 25th anniversary show was left in ruins so this is your make up date people. No excuses. This show WILL SELL OUT, so get your tickets right this very second. This show is a benefit for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

Two days later on Friday December 21, toddle on over to the Bell House for John Hodgman: That Is All. December 21, 2012 is the last day of the Mayan long count calendar and many buffoons and dipshits are prophesizing that this day marks certain doom for mankind. Along with musician Cynthia Hopkins and other special guests, Hodgman will count down to midnight, when his predictions will be proved TRUE! Or else FALSE! Tickets are on sale, but not for long! I prophesize a sell out!

by Klaus Kinski

Tom Shillue

I was sitting at work reconciling a bunch of budgets when a small but heavy pile of comedy news fell into my lap. It is now up to me to disseminate this news to your hungry eyes. But before I get down to bidness I have to mention a recent comedic experience that really floated my denim clad boat. I don't normally review comedy shows because comedy is so subjective, but this show was enough to get me out of my apartment during a heatwave so it deserves mention. Klaus favorite Tom Shillue brought his storytelling show Funny Story to the confines of Brooklyn Brewery for the first time last night, June 20th, 2012 and cleaning crews are still at work gathering my busted guts from the walls and ceiling of the place. Funny Story has taken place at a few venues in the city, including UCB East and UCB West but this was the first one at the Brewery. The second you walk in, the first thing you notice is the smell. I don't know if you've ever been in a brewery, but imagine putting burnt pizza crust and Eukanuba dog food in a black plastic garbage bag and leaving it on the hood of a cement truck in the dead of summer and then opening said bag after 8 hours. It is a rank odor that I was afraid would distract me for the entire show; happily for some reason my nose got used to it in about 15 minutes and I was able to enjoy the STELLAR line-up unencumbered of olfactory distractions. Tom kicked things of with a hilarious tale of an early visit to NYC with his 2nd cousin Grover, adventures at famed nightclub Tunnel, getting Andy Warhol's autograph on a soup can in Boston, and eventually losing touch with Grover in the late 90s. Musical genius Walter Schreifels was up next and regaled the venue with various tales of neighborhood life in Williamsburg before offering up a heart-breaking grand finale story about bike theft and redemption. Philip Galinsky was up next, but I sadly missed a good amount of his performance due to a bathroom break and a beer token run; but what I did see and hear was hilarious and his stage presence was absolutely incredible. He runs the Manhattan Monologue Slam with his brother Robert, so keep your eye out for him. The great Bobby Tisdale followed Galinsky and told what, for me, were probably the funniest anecdotes of the evening. Topics included having sex like a cat, having his yam-bag punctured by a cat in search of his girlfriend's 'essence,' and having his own Julie Robert's-pretty-woman-jewel-box-surprise-moment, only it wasn't a jewelry box and the surprise involved an unexpected spray of water. I wish the event was being recorded because everyone on earth MUST hear these tales. MUST. The night was capped off with the incomparable John Mulaney who waxed about he and his family's history and experiences with Bill Clinton. Not sure when the next installment of Funny Story is but I will do everything in my power to spread the word on BV because it's a must-see. And you get a beer with the cost of admission. Boo-ya!

In other comedy news, as expected, Dame Julie Klausner's live podcast taping at the Bell House happening on June 27th with Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, Jim Gaffigan, and the recently added Martha Plimpton, and more, is now sold out. Do yourself a favor and start mining Craigslist for a ticket now because this could be the show of the century.

Speaking of comedy shows that will sell out, LA based comedian, ex-Mr. Show cast member, and all around great, great man Scott Aukerman is bringing Comedy Bang! Bang! LIVE! to the Highline Ballroom on August 7, 2012. The show will feature James Adomian and Tim Heidecker. Comedy Bang! Bang! is not only a hugely successful and totally rad podcast, but it's also a show on IFC that you can see Friday's at 10/9C. In other Tim Heidecker in NYC news, don't forget you can catch him on Friday June 29th at Littlefield where he will be on Kurt Braunohler's show Night of the Living alongside millionaire armpit hair aficionado Amanda Palmer. And much like Scott Aukerman, Braunohler has a show on IFC Friday nights at 10:30/9:30C called Bunk

And speaking of LA-based comedians coming to NYC, Klaus favorite Doug Benson will be in town on July 2nd, 2012 at the Gramercy Theater where he will deliver us Doug Loves Movies Live Podcast with Doug Benson & Special Guests. I have been to these I Love Movies podcast tapings before and they are absolutely the most fun you can have sitting down.

Why not keep this LA comedy in NYC ball rolling (awful segue, huh?)? I am pleased as punch to say that the Nerdist Podcast Live is COMING TO NYC on October 12th, 2012! Tickets for this show, which happens at the massive Best Buy Theater, went on sale at noon today. The Nerdist Podcast features Chris Hardwick, Jonah Ray, and Matt Mira. You know Chris from his extensive television work, including hosting "Web Soup" on G4 and "Talking Dead" on AMC, his appearances with Conan O'Brien, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Fallon, and many others, his book "The Nerdist Way." Jonah's a rising standup comic in Los Angeles, co-hosts a popular weekly live standup show, and writes for E! Entertainment Television's "The Soup." Matt's a staffer on G4's "Attack of the Show" and host of his own weekly live standup comedy show in L.A. as well. Together, they host the Nerdist Podcast, one of the most popular comedy podcasts in the world and are all featured on the 'Nerdist' specials airing on BBC America. For sheer skills as a comedian though, Jonah Ray wins. I love that dude. More Nerdist dates here.

Ok I am starting to feel homesick. Better talk about NYC for a sec. On Monday June 25th 2012, Hot Tub with Kurt and Kristen is bringing the f-ing stank to Littlefield in Brooklyn. The line-up will feature Simon Amstell, who has a Numb residency happening in NYC VERY soon, the great Glenn Wool, Lady Carol, and Josh Gondelman. Tickets are on sale now, but get them now because the gonna be gone very very soon yo.