Take the most extreme black metal of all-time and then multiply it by 50 or something and then go sit in a ditch while listening to it and then you're still not even close to how brutal this is. Besides, you can't handle it anyway.

In 2004 Dave Hill, comedian, author, man-about-town, guitar prodigy, heavy metal enthusiast, and friend of BV, created alter-ego Lance, a teenager living with his parents in Gary, IN who also happened to be the lead singer and sole member of "the most extreme, brutal, and Satanic black metal band of all-time", Witch Taint. Lance began a now infamous email correspondence with a Norwegian black metal label owner named Saiitham wherein he relentlessly attempted to secure a record deal based upon the strength of a Witch Taint song called "Necrodreamraper." The subsequent email conversation, which lasted from November 2004 to April 2005, took on a life of its own and infamously came to be known as The Black Metal Dialogues.

Dave Hill will be bringing The Black Metal Dialogues to Saint Vitus on Wednesday, March 8 for an event called “Witch Taint: The Black Metal Dialogues Live!” (tickets). Attendees of WT:TBMDL will experience the infernal email chain being brought to life by Dave Hill and Phil Costello (Valley Lodge, Satanicide, Diamondsnake, PCP, Tragedy) with a live reading, plenty of smoke, awkwardly fitting black clothing, corpse paint, grim lighting, and maybe a live goat. The event will culminate with a musical performance by Witch Taint. I don't anticipate many survivors.

There's another Witch Taint show happening at Jersey City's WFMU Monty Hall on April 20 (tickets)

Dave, I mean Lance, is also bringing The Black Metal Dialogues Live! on the road! It'll be in Austin on Sunday (3/12) for SXSW's Comedy Festival (more info), plus New Orleans, Jersey City, and West Hollywood are all in Witch Taint's line of fire. Those dates are below. May Cod have mercy on their souls.

Witch Taint Logo

In other Dave Hill news, I am happy to report that he's part of a pretty stellar cast in a new motion picture called Sidewalk Traffic which is currently available on iTunes and "pretty much wherever else incredible movies can be found." Tom Shillue is also part of the cast and so is Johnny Hopkins, Erin Darke, Tom Shillue, Kurt Loder, Samm Levine, and Heather Matarazzo. Check out the trailer below.

There's also some Dave Hill related music news that you ought to know about. Rough Trade Publishing, the company who handles the catalogues of his rock bands Valley Lodge and Painted Doll, are currently releasing a song a day from their artists for 90 days. The project is called A Song a Day Keeps the Pain Away and you can get every song for just $20.17. This song-a-day project includes a new song by Valley Lodge called "Come Back to My Bed" as well as "Together Alone" by Painted Doll. All profits go to the Southern Poverty Law Center.


The Black Metal Dialogues Live! : Spring 2017 Dates
MAR 8 - Saint Vitus Bar - New York
MAR12 -  Hideout Theatre - Austin, TX
APR 7 - One Eyed Jacks - New Orleans, LA
APR 20 - WFMU Studio - Jersey City, NJ
MAY 3 - The Viper Room - West Hollywood, CA

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