Michelle Wolf roasts everyone at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner (watch)
Michelle Wolf continued her big year, following an HBO Special and stints on Late Night with Seth Meyers and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah with the high profile gig of being the entertainer for the White House Correspondents' Dinner. The annual Washington, DC event is touted as a celebration of the first amendment, and attended by journalists covering the White House as well as government officials. While presidents have usually attended in the past, Donald Trump skipped the dinner for the second year in a row, throwing a rally in Michigan instead. White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and counselor to the president Kellyanne Conway were in attendance this year, however, and were both among those roasted during Michelle's 20-minute routine. Few were spared - Michelle went in on Democrats and Republicans alike, and along with Trump, Sarah, and Kellyanne, she mentioned Roy Moore, Ann Coulter, Ivanka Trump, Mike Pence, Mitch McConnell, Michael Cohen, and others.
The Washington Post collected some of Michelle's choicest barbs:
I have to say I’m a little star-struck. I love [Sarah Huckabee Sanders] as Aunt Lydia in ‘The Handmaid’s Tale.’ Mike Pence, if you haven’t seen it, you would love it.
And I’m never really sure what to call Sarah Huckabee Sanders, you know? Is it Sarah Sanders, is it Sarah Huckabee Sanders, is it Cousin Huckabee, is it Auntie Huckabee Sanders? What’s Uncle Tom but for white women who disappoint other white women? Oh, I know. Aunt Coulter.
There’s also, of course, Ivanka [Trump]. She was supposed to be an advocate for women, but it turns out she’s about as helpful to women as an empty box of tampons. She’s done nothing to satisfy women. So, I guess like father, like daughter.
It’s 2018 and I’m a woman so you cannot shut me up. Unless you have Michael Cohen wire me $130,000.
Of course, Trump isn’t here, if you haven’t noticed. He’s not here. And I know, I know, I would drag him here myself, but it turns out the president of the United States is the one pussy you’re not allowed to grab.
Democrats are harder to make fun of because you guys don’t do anything. People think you might flip the House and Senate this November, but you guys always find a way to mess it up. You’re somehow going to lose by 12 points to a guy named Jeff Pedophile Nazi Doctor.
I’m not going to go after print media tonight because it’s illegal to attack an endangered species.
Michelle finished her set with a reminder that Flint, Michigan still doesn't have clean water. She's drawn criticism for her remarks, which she seems to have expected, as she said, partway through her set, "should have done more research before you got me to do this."
Former press secretary Sean Spicer, who was in attendance, called Michelle "a disgrace," to which she responded, "thank you!"
Maggie Haberman of the New York Times accused Michelle of "intense criticism" of Sarah Huckabee Sanders' physical appearance. Michelle responded, "all these jokes were about her despicable behavior."
Former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus said "Trump lovers and even a large number of Trump haters were pretty miserable."
Kathy Griffin, who has come under scrutiny herself, and played Kellyanne Conway on Comedy Central, praised Michelle. She told the Washington Post, "I loved it. She did what she needed to do — and as a female, look, you gotta work harder, you gotta jump higher, and she did that — she went there, fearlessly." She continued, "The audience reaction, in a couple times, was tepid, and I really feel like it’s because she’s a woman. Some of her comments made a lot of these straighty, backwards dinosaurs uncomfortable, and I live for that. Those were some of my favorite moments." She also had a response for Sean Spicer's cries of "disgrace"
Trump tweeted a suggestion that Fox News personality Greg Gutfeld host next year.
If that happens, hopefully Greg has better jokes up his sleeve than the time he called Radiohead "a poor man's Coldplay."
You can watch Michelle Wolf's full White House Correspondents' Dinner remarks below.