by Ian Chainey

Twisted Sister at the Nokia Theater, 2008 (more by Tim Griffin)
Twisted Sister

What do you want to do with your life? Well, retire comfortably and die in my sleep.

Okay, so the answer may be a bit different now than it once was, but for one night you can change it back to "rock." The enduring Twisted Sister is coming to the Best Buy Theater on September 5 with Adrenaline Mob (featuring Symphony X singer Russell Allen and A. J. Pero of Twisted Sister on drums) and comedian Don Jamieson (of That Metal Show) in support. Tickets go on sale Friday (6/27) at noon. Sure, raise a brow if you wish, but the Kirk Windstein of heavy heavies Crowbar vouched for Dee Snider and company on Invisible Oranges on East Village Radio, calling them one of the best live acts he's seen. Hey, maybe he was even talking about the 2008 Christmas show.

Of course, Twisted Sister aren't the only hair band still making the rounds in 2014. Quiet Riot will release 10 tomorrow (6/27) through iTunes and Amazon. It's their first studio album since singer Kevin Debrow passed away in 2007. The name of the new vocalist behind the mic? Jizzy Pearl. No, really. The band non-ironically begins a 'Bang Your Head' US tour on July 10 with the likes of Faster Pussycat, Bullet Boys, and Gilby Clarke of Guns n' Roses. It hits The Paramount in Long Island on 7/23. All dates and a promo video for 10 appear below.

Mr. Big are also putting out a new record. The winners of the hearts of Japan and guitar teachers voting on Guitar Magazine polls will drop ...The Stories We Could Tell on Frontiers Records in September. Maybe one of those stories will finally bring closure to "To Be With You." (Were you next? WERE YOU?) Check out the utterly competent, two million views and counting, "Undertow" from the new album below.

Finally, speaking of bands that never knew a song they couldn't tack an acoustic intro on to, Tesla have released a video for "So Divine..." off of their recently released Simplicity. It features a lot of cautious stage moves. (Not shown: three hours of stretching.) Surprised to see Tesla name? So. . . (ahem) did you think that it's over? The band is also currently on tour. Find "So Divine..." and the remaining dates below.

That takes you back, right? Maybe this will spur on a hair retrospective aimed at discovering what happened to the twins in those Cinderella videos. Or not.

All of the dates along with the aforementioned videos appear below.


Twisted Sister 2014 Dates
July 4 - Rock Fest 2014 - Parc de Can Zam, Santa Coloma de Gramenet, Spain
July 11 - Bang Your Head!!! 2014 - Balingen, Germany
Sep 5 - Best Buy Theater - New York, NY

Quiet Riot 2014 Tour Dates
June 28 - Kalamazoo, MI
July 10 - House of Blues - San Diego, CA
July 11 - Saban Theatre - Beverly Hills, CA
July 12 - House of Blues - Anaheim, CA
July 19 - Effingham Performance Center - Effingham, IL
July 20 - Mojoe's - Joliet, IL
July 22 - The Asylum - Portland, ME
July 23 - The Paramount, Huntington, NY
July 24 - Wilbur Theatre - Boston, MA
July 25 - Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom - Hampton Beach, NH
July 26 - Casino Speedway - Watertown, SD
Aug 1 - Trails End Concert Park - Sheridan, WY
Aug 2 - Yamhill County Fairgrounds - McMinnville, OR
Aug 4 - Jackson County Fairgrounds - Jackson, MI
Aug 8 - The Forum - Medellín, Colombia
Aug 9 - Teatro Royal Center Bogota - Bogota, Colombia
Aug 15 - Sioux City, IA
Aug 16 - Fowlerville Fairgrounds - Fowlerville, MI
Aug 23 - The Paramount - Huntington, NY
Aug 29 - Saint Cloud, MN
Aug 30 - Ross County Fairgrounds - Chillicothe, OH
Aug 31 - New Albany, IN

Upcoming Telsa Tour Dates
June 28 - Capitol Mall - Sacramento, CA
June 29 - Pleasanton, CA
July 3 - The Cotillion - Wichita, KS
July 4 - Timberwood Amphitheater at Magic Springs - Hot Springs, AR
July 10 - Gettysburg, PA
July 11 - Centennial Terrace - Toledo, OH
July 12 - Osceola, IA
July 15 - House of Blues - Dallas,TX
July 17 - Hard Rock Hotel & Casino - Biloxi, MS
July 18 - House of Blues - Houston, TX
July 19 - Oklahoma City, OK
July 24 - Eugene, OR
July 26 - Great Falls, MT
July 27 - Deadwood Mountain Grand Hotel & Casino - Deadwood, SD
July 31 - Tachi Palace Hotel & Casino - Lemoore, CA
Aug 1 - City National Grove of Anaheim - Anaheim, CA
Aug 2 - Canyon Club - Agoura Hills, CA
Aug 12 - Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom - Hampton Beach, NH
Aug 14 - Stage AE - Pittsburgh, PA
Aug 15 - Newport Music Hall - Columbus, OH
Aug 16 - Peoria, IL
Aug 19 - House of Blues - Cleveland, OH
Aug 20 - Bogart's Cincinnati - Cincinnati, OH
Aug 22 - Freedom Hill Amphitheatre & County Park - SterlingHeights, MI w/ Skid Row
Aug 23 - House of Blues - Chicago, IL
Aug 26 - Borealis Theatre, Alaska State Fair - Palmer, AK
Aug 29 - USANA Amphitheatre - WestValley City, UT w/ Lynyrd Skynyrd
Sep 11 - Waterloo, IA
Sep 12 - Piere's - Fort Wayne
Sep 18 - Sycuan Casino - Live & Up Close - El Cajon, CA
Sep 19 - Sycuan Casino - Live & Up Close - El Cajon, CA
Sep 20 - Eastside Cannery Hotel & Casino - Las Vegas, NV
April 18, 2015 - Monsters of Rock Cruise Miami

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